My Blind Disease.

Are they talking?
Are they staring?
The uncertain inkling is overbearing.

Impairing my judgment,
My mind’s filled with doubt
While my mouth remains silent,
My brain needs to shout.

Throughout my soul lurks a blind disease
Appeasing my demons 
And defying me pleas.

I need to feel real.
To see if I’m crazy.
Because the line of reality has blurred more lately.

So save me. 
Take me away from the abyss.
Dismiss this sickness,
And all the pain it inflicts.

It makes me see why it’s easy to hate me.
For the safety of society,
Lock me up--isolate me.

Sedate me,
And pump me full of what’s normal.

But I might try to fight,
So prepare to be forceful.

And you may feel remorseful,
But don’t let that deter you.
The demons won’t listen;
They can’t even hear you.

If I get near you, just run.
There’s still a way to escape.
I pray for your sake you don’t stay on my side of the gate.

The case may seem like I'm not fighting to change,
But this blind disease
Has me locked in its cage.

The chains won’t break,
And my mind’s out of control.
With a lifetime of pain,
My brain has more than taken its toll.

So, Good-bye soul. Good-bye Earth.
The good-byes hurt, but death is all I am worth.

Reviews

[VennelaMargame]

Hmm, I'm a writer who notices a lot about form and technique, and I like the play with rhythm and rhyme in this poem. It's not clapped out regular, but has a nice music to it and makes the poem feel swift and energized, despite the subject matter.

I might re-work phrases like "line of reality has blurred" or "locked in its cage" cause they're a bit familiar and cliche. One thing I always like in poetry is language that I haven't seen before, that feels fresh and original, right out of the author's brain and heart, and purely in their own voice.

Best wishes, and happy writing.

[delmarie]

Thanks for your opinion :)