The Great Escape of Mr. Cuddles

It’s a normal Saturday in the Neiker household until Megan loses her newest friend, Mr. Cuddles the snake she found in the garden. Her older brother, Jase, and his best friend, Tyler, are recruited to

 (A boy is sitting in a chair, busy playing video games. He makes sound effects as his little sister enters.)

Megan: Jase. (Pokes the headphones Jase is wearing.) Jase. (Growing annoyed.) Jase. JASE!

Jase: (yanking off headphones.) WHAT?

Megan: I lost Mr. Cuddles.

Jase: You lost your teddy bear and you came to bother me because you can’t keep track of anything?

Megan: Mr. Cuddles isn’t a teddy bear.

Jase: So I suppose he’s a real bear. Come on, you’re making stuff up. Go back to your room and play with your stupid toys.

Megan: I never said he was a bear at all!

Jase: Then what is he?

Megan: Mr. Cuddles is my snake.

(Jase jumps up on chair terrified and scans the room with his eyes.)

Jase: A SNAKE! When did you get a snake?

Megan: I found him in the backyard earlier this morning.

Jase: (speaking to himself) calm down dude, it’s gonna be alright. Just call Tyler and he’ll help you find the snake.

Megan: Who are you talking to?

Jase: (getting down from the chair) no one, none of your business.

Megan: You were talking to your invisible friend again. (Talking to the air beside her.) Mommy says he should have stopped doing that by now. It’s just weird, who does that?

(Jase pulls a cell phone out of his pocket and dials a number. He pauses a few seconds then speaks.)

Jase: Tyler, my man, see my sister lost one of her toys somewhere in the house and I was wondering if you could come and help me find it before my parents get home.

Megan: He’s not a toy.

Jase: I KNOW THAT! What? No, not talking to you. Yeah, it’ll only take a few minutes. Hurry! Thanks see ya soon.

Megan: Isn’t Tyler afraid of snakes?

Jase: Yes, that’s why we aren’t going to say anything, right? (Megan nods and then shakes her head, confusing herself.)

(Tyler enters)

Tyler: Okay, so, you lost Mr. Cuddles. Where did you last see him?

Megan: The kitchen. (Jase squeals, jumping on a chair.)

Jase: The kitchen!

Tyler: What are you doing up there? You’re acting like the toy is some big monster or something. Quit being weird about a teddy bear, it’s not like it’s a snake. (Jase and Megan exchange a look) What? It feels like I’m missing something important here. Come on. (Walks off stage in direction of kitchen .Screams, runs back on.) MAN! THERE’S A SNAKE IN THERE!

Jase: You found him!

Megan: Mr. Cuddles!

(Tyler angrily stares at Jase.)

Jase: What? I never said he was a toy!

Tyler: Yeah you did. You said she lost her toy.

Megan: It’s true!

Jase: Megan...

Megan: Mommy says to never tell a lie.

Tyler: Look, I’ll help you get that thing out of here but don’t expect me to help you again after this.

Jase: Tyler, I’m...

Tyler: (Interrupting) Don’t say it; I don’t want to hear it. Let’s just finish this before we lose him again.

(Tyler and Megan creep off stage, Jase grabs his video game controller, and the cord attached to it.)

Tyler: (from offstage) The snake isn’t in here anymore!

Jase: What? That can’t be possible! (Tyler and Megan run back on stage.)

Tyler: What are we going to do?

Megan: Wait for someone else to scream.

Jase: We need real ideas here Megan.

Megan: That was a real idea!

Jase: (Picks up remote.) Mute.

Megan: But...

Jase: Mute.

(An awkward silence ensues while Megan throws a silent tantrum. Tyler picks her up from the floor and spins her around until she giggles. He then sets her down and sighs deeply.)

Tyler: Now we can get to work. Enlighten us, why are you holding a video game controller?

Jase: (reaching under the chair for two more, passes one to each of the others) For wrapping the snake up if we catch him. We’ll split up, Megan takes the mudroom, I’ll take the living room, and Tyler can take the kitchen.

Tyler: No offense, but wrapping it up with an electrical cord is probably the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.

Jase: It’s worth a shot.

Tyler: Don’t you have a butterfly net?

Jase: Why would I?

Tyler: Megan might have one.

Megan: No way! Butterflies are for little girls.

Jase: You’re a little girl.

Megan: No, I’m not.

Tyler: (Splitting them up.)Fine. (They each exit in their own direction, Jase being the only one to stay on stage. He looks around.)

Jase: Here Mr. Cuddles, over here Mr. Snaky wakey. (Hears a hissing sound coming from Tyler’s direction.) Tyler! I hear something.

Tyler: Good for you!

Jase: (Hissing continues) I’m being serious here Tyler.

Megan: I found my Halloween candy from last year!

Jase: Megan, don’t eat it.

Megan: But Jase...

Jase: We have bigger things to worry about right now.

Megan: Okay.

Jase: Mr. Cuddles? Are you in here?

(Hissing stops, Megan runs in.)

Megan: Mom’s car just pulled into the driveway!

Jase: Tyler! Quick, act natural!

Tyler: (Running in) I found it!

Jase: Not now. (They arrange themselves on the floor in a poor attempt to look nonchalant.)

Mom: Kids! I’m... (enters) oh. Well, it’s nice to see you all look so...together. (Suspiciously) What are you all up to?

Jase: Nothing.

Megan: Nothing.

Tyler: Hello. (Gets strange look from everyone) I mean...um, nothing?

Mom: I see. (She heads for the kitchen)

Tyler: Wow, Mrs. Neiker. Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?

Jase: What are you doing?

Tyler: The snakes in there!

Mom: No, you didn’t Tyler. That’s not something you ever say to me. Now, I’m going to make us all some lunch.

Megan: No!

Mom: What is it sweetie?

Megan: I accidentally let a snake in the house named Mr. Cuddles and now he’s in the kitchen.

Mom: Honey, its fine. You and your little fantasies. (Kids make silent attempts to keep from the kitchen; grumbling, reaching, sighing, etc. Mom stops and looks back at them.) Is there something wrong?

(They each shake their heads vigorously and smile. Mom exits to the kitchen. The kids nervously await. A shrill scream is heard and the children jump up and run off stage.)

Author's Note

Please leave a review and rating, this is for a playwriting assignment and I haven't done well the last few years. I need your help! Thanks!