Chapter One

Chapter One

A Chapter by Phillitup

            The candle flickered, the flame danced, and the world went dark. Cody sat bolt upright in his bed, breathing hard. He reached his hand over, never opening his eyes, and grabbed hold of a disheveled spiral bound notebook. Cody also snatched up a pen and, flipping open the notebook, he began writing. The scrawl went all over the place until it stopped. He then preceded to draw a picture on the next page. He cracked open his eyes, closing them every other second or two. When it was completely finished he opened his eyes. The room was dark as night and a soft snoring came from his brother’s bed, which lay a few feet away from his. Cody gently placed the notebook and pen on his bedside table and carefully removed the sheets and blankets. He crept to the door and leaned his entire weight on it. It didn’t budge. His mother must have locked it from the outside in so that if he walked in his sleep, he couldn’t get out. Some nights she did and other nights she just didn’t want to think about her strange child. Cody tiptoed back to his bed and lay down, leaving the covers strewn on the floor. He stared up at the ceiling, trying not to think about what the dream might mean. Cody’s dreams had always been different than those of other kids. They always meant something, if only that he was tired. His mom hated it. Even more so, she hated the fact that she was the mother of a deranged “kid” who never had the sensibility to admit that it was only a dream. On the first day of kindergarten Cody had turned on his heel to face his mother.

“Mommy. Last night I had a dream that I was hurt.”

His mother had shaken the thought from her mind all day and when he got home, sure enough, he had double black eyes and was crying so hard that his face was wrinkled. That night she had also wept because someone in kindergarten felt the need to pick on her little baby, and he had predicted it. She had shaken her head as if to say “Crazy child” and thought of him that way.

Truthfully, he was right. He always was.

Cody turned over to face the opposite side of the room. He fell back in surprise. Staring at him quietly was his twin brother, Leo.

“We go see the talent guards today about your dreams.”

Cody nodded. He didn’t really think of his dreams as a talent or even a gift like Leo and the

talent guards did. He was nervous, truth be told. He wasn’t exactly sure why.

“It’s fine.” Leo reassured. He smiled.

I just wish that were true. Cody thought.

It is. Leo’s smile grew wider. It was rare moments like these when the two could connect so severely. Because of its unscheduled and rare occurrences, they had never mentioned it to anyone. Not even their mom. She already had a lot on her plate, she didn’t need another

mysterious situation chasing her around.

“You had another dream, didn’t you?”

Cody nodded. His twin knew all the signs. Sheets on the floor, notebook lying upside down,worrisome look on his brother’s face. It wasn’t anywhere close to rare. In fact, it happened more often than anyone could count. Even trained mathematicians. It was unpredictable. Sometimes twenty in one night. Two notebooks were kept by Cody’s bed at all times along with five pens. It seemed like a bit too much but things got lost in the night and you never knew when your

swiping hand would knock something off the bed stand.

“What was it about?”

Cody sighed. “A candle. It flickered and then everything went dark.”

“Freaked you out?”

Cody nodded sheepishly. Leo never made fun of him but he still was self-conscious about his dreams. He swung his legs down and hopped off the bed.

 

∞∞∞

 

          “Who do we have here?” The talent guard bent down to peer at the five foot teenager.

“Um,” Cody’s mom bit her lip,” this child is Cody. The one you’re looking at is his twin Leo. He doesn’t have a talent.” She pushed Cody forward.

The talent guard stared at him and then at Leo.

“I will take them both back for testing.”

“But,”

“No buts ma’am. I have a feeling that Leo may be like his brother.

The twins gulped and eyed each other.

“If that is so, they will go to a talent school. If only one of them, it must be so. Often times twins

share an ability.”

Their mother went white and her jaw sank. She closed her mouth but she looked absolutely

terrified. That couldn’t possibly be the case. The talent guard grabbed them by their shoulders and led them through a giant metal door. As he walked them down a dark corridor he spoke.

“Any questions?”

Leo nodded. “Why do you think I have a talent?”

The guard smiled.

“You have the air of it.”

“Huh?”

“Intuition.”

Leo nodded. Then he kept quiet.

Cody’s thoughts were racing. Did what they experienced together in their minds count as a

talent? What would happen if one of them had a talent and the other didn’t? So much could

happen and it could all happen fast.

“Here are two testers.” The guard exclaimed. The dead end hallway suddenly started widening.

A huge, cavernous space sprawled in front of them, filled to the brim with busy people. There were kids, even adults of all cultures, clothes, ages, and actions. Most of them excited to find out the test results. They wanted to have a talent but Cody wished he didn’t. Two men in simila

clothes as the guard came up to them. Each led one of the twins farther into the jumbled mess.

Are you there? Leo concentrated.

Cody frowned.

Where are you?

Some hallway.

“Is there a problem?” Cody’s guide asked. Cody shook his head. “You will be led through a

series of intellectual and mental tests. After you are done you may return to the waiting room from which you came. You will have your results soon afterward.”

Cody nodded.



© 2012 Phillitup


Author's Note

Phillitup
Chapter One

My Review

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Featured Review

You definitely have a talent in storytelling. You are very descriptive and you really do well at developing a character. Towards the end I think you could expand a little more with the talent guard scenario, I think it would provide your reader with a little more knowledge. Good start so far.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

okay, thanks:)



Reviews

You definitely have a talent in storytelling. You are very descriptive and you really do well at developing a character. Towards the end I think you could expand a little more with the talent guard scenario, I think it would provide your reader with a little more knowledge. Good start so far.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

okay, thanks:)
Great story so far, it really drew me in. But we really need to talk about spacing. When reading a huge block of text. It makes the reader feel like he is drowning in words. Adding white space every so offten makes it an easier read.. also some of your sentences drops off when it should still be attched to the same line. Having the reader to go back and follow it down.

Again great start for the first chapter. Moving on to the next one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

Sorry about the spacing. It takes forever to fix and I copy paste it from word and it gets all weird.. read more
Shep

11 Years Ago

It happens
Shep

11 Years Ago

It happens, but it is an easy fix. Sometimes I have to add spaces after going back through. Sometime.. read more
Wow... The first couple of sentences drew me in and then i just got stuck :P This is realy good! I love the idea and the way you have written it :) Well done! Reading on :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

Thank you very much! Please do read more!
Story and plot are really enjoyable and hooks the reader in. I didn't see typos, but I'm not very good with them. The only thing I will critique is I think it should be a little more descriptive at the end, it will also give some length to the chapter. Good job! 100/100

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

Okay, thanks for reading and leaving a review! I appreciate people who have specific suggestions lik.. read more
I think your forte is in storytelling. This is just fabulous! You have a few minor typos... 13th line from the bottom...(similar) needs an "r" and 6th line from the top...first word should be (proceeded) in place of "preceded"...these are errors even a professional could make. To quote Stephen King, "To write is human but to EDIT is divine." (laughing) That's why even the best of writers (with the odd exception of Hemmingway perhaps) employ or employed editors and proofreaders. Your novel is off to a good start. I rate it 100/100.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

Thanks for being specific about typos. Some say "Oh, you have some errors." But that doesn't really .. read more
It's really good! Keep writing more! :D

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is so well written and interesting! This is such a creative story so far and I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Posted 11 Years Ago


It's very good so far. I'm going to keep reading, so please keep writing. :) The only thing I noticed is that you missed a few commas. Other than that, it's perfect.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

Thanks!
Keep going i want more, so many questions are racing through my head. I must know what happens to Leo and Cody. I am hooked!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

Thank you. I am currently working on the third chapter but it might take a while. Please read more!
Zachary_James

11 Years Ago

Yay i'm glad you are, and you are welcome.
Wow, this pulled me in from the beginning. Can't wait to read more! Well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Phillitup

11 Years Ago

please read more

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Added on December 30, 2012
Last Updated on December 30, 2012


Author

Phillitup
Phillitup

FL



About
I am 14-years-old. I find inspiration all over the place: memories, ideas, things I notice. I like believing in things that others find impossible. I think that's the way I hope for a better future. .. more..

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