In a World

Lost
beyond discovery
Torn
beyond repair
Dead
beyond awakening
In a world
I thought I knew

Author's Note

I don't know about this one. I feel like beyond is used to often but that gives it a familiar touch regarding the fact that the character felt like they knew the place. Please leave a review if you read! Tell me what you think!

XXX 12/29/12

Reviews

[Bluefire]

This made my mind picture the protagonist alone on a desolate planet, ready to give up after months or years of searching for other aliens like himself.
It makes me feel a touch of sadness and loneliness that, oddly, makes me thirst for more and want to know what happens next. It is amazing that you could achieve such a thing with so few words.
Well done! ^^

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much! I have often believed that the power of words is a mysterious thing.

[Bluefire]

I believe that as well. The power of words is such a complex, yet beautiful, thing, far beyond atleast my full understanding.
And, it was no problem. ^^

[Salar Majak]

this is a nice one, too much confusion you can feel running through the character's mind! great job Dell

[RavenWells]

This may be one of my favorite poems of yours. It's simple, yet full of emotion. Nice job. :)

[afra]

short but very deep and beautiful ....good job

[Icelanna]

I like it. I'd isolate the one word lines "Lost, torn, dead and in a world" with a full stop at the end. I think the fact you used "beyond" a lot, the word creates an enigma of "what if" and adds the effect of the unknown, of what's to come, so it creates a very dynamic and rather mysterious effect to the poem. I like the fact it's brief and it's powerful, definitely the confusion in the last line, creates self doubt. Of course I love first person, well written.
Love to you x

[s y e]

This is very good! I loved it.
I think the fact you have repeated the word 'beyond' adds more effect to the poem.
Well done my friend. Excellent!

[Phillitup]

Thank you!

[s y e]

Welcome! :-D Anytime!

[AYVID N]

A very hurt and disillusioned writer there. But the wording is superb and had I been trying to pen similar thoughts, I could not have worded it better. You did superbly well there. Please keep it up!

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much!