In a World

Lost
beyond discovery
Torn
beyond repair
Dead
beyond awakening
In a world
I thought I knew

Author's Note

I don't know about this one. I feel like beyond is used to often but that gives it a familiar touch regarding the fact that the character felt like they knew the place. Please leave a review if you read! Tell me what you think!

XXX 12/29/12

Reviews

[Bluefire]

This made my mind picture the protagonist alone on a desolate planet, ready to give up after months or years of searching for other aliens like himself.
It makes me feel a touch of sadness and loneliness that, oddly, makes me thirst for more and want to know what happens next. It is amazing that you could achieve such a thing with so few words.
Well done! ^^

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much! I have often believed that the power of words is a mysterious thing.

[Bluefire]

I believe that as well. The power of words is such a complex, yet beautiful, thing, far beyond atleast my full understanding.
And, it was no problem. ^^

[Persona]

Good, short, simple, powerful. I don't have a problem with beyond, but if you don't like it you can change it.

[Bronwen Cox Hollinger]

One of my favorite poems of yours. So much feeling in so little words.

[quinfinn]

excellent! i love this....try "behind" with discovery if you wanna mix it up a little, but beyond works well with all...sometimes the repetition is what propels a great write. it certainly hasn't hurt this one!

[Lina Grey]

I like it. The isolated words of 'now' compared to the consistent phrases of 'then'. Very creative, very deep. An inspiring write ~em

[.]

very leaden. and that's a wonderful thing.
once you stop thinking, come birds of Spring...
nice job

[David Scott]

Good write. I felt like I wanted the last line flipped and split...
Like: knowing
I thought...
Still a fine short poem.

[Tori Hughes]

it describes me almost perfectly. i love it when im reading something and dont expect that and it happens. good job.

[The Fallen]

This is wonderful. The meaning is amazing and I quite love this one. Its wonderfully written and flows well.

[Savior of Time]

In a perfect world, this could never happen. I enjoyed this, short and simple. Nice job Philbsters.

-Willa

[Mir]

I really liked this one! It was short but very very good! :)