In a World

Lost
beyond discovery
Torn
beyond repair
Dead
beyond awakening
In a world
I thought I knew

Author's Note

I don't know about this one. I feel like beyond is used to often but that gives it a familiar touch regarding the fact that the character felt like they knew the place. Please leave a review if you read! Tell me what you think!

XXX 12/29/12

Reviews

[Bluefire]

This made my mind picture the protagonist alone on a desolate planet, ready to give up after months or years of searching for other aliens like himself.
It makes me feel a touch of sadness and loneliness that, oddly, makes me thirst for more and want to know what happens next. It is amazing that you could achieve such a thing with so few words.
Well done! ^^

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much! I have often believed that the power of words is a mysterious thing.

[Bluefire]

I believe that as well. The power of words is such a complex, yet beautiful, thing, far beyond atleast my full understanding.
And, it was no problem. ^^

[Clove]

I think you need to add a little more detail to the poem. But it does speak to me, in someway; but just add a little more detail to it, and it'll make more sense of what your trying to say.

[Phillitup]

Thank you for your insightful review

[Clove]

your welcome! always here to help :)

[Empty Spaces]

it makes me think

[Phillitup]

thank you...that is my goal

[Leigh]

This is about realisation to me and beyond works, particularly in the 3rd line

'Dead beyond awakening'

Keep writing I enjoy your poems

[Phillitup]

thanks!

[CreativeStroke]

I think repeating the word 'beyond' in this piece suited it perfectly. The isolation you described was so well penned. I am truly impressed with this piece of yours.

[Phillitup]

thanks

[ℰmerald ⚓]

The power of small words when you piece them together makes a truly deep imprint when you read such poems. Very well done, I like this a lot.

[Phillitup]

thank you very much

[ms. barrie]

i find this very unique in your descriptiveness in depicting isolation, disillusionment. very short yet able to capture these feelings in this poem. brilliant write, i very much enjoyed this, thanks for sharing

[Phillitup]

And thank YOU for reviewing!

[ms. barrie]

you welcome :)

[rnuff]

very well written

[Phillitup]

Thank you

[Green]

Isolating the first word in each group was a good idea. It made you pause for a second and let the word sink in and the repetition of beyond also helped to emphasis each line. Good job.

[Courtney]

I like how its deep. Its also short, but some of the best poems are. Good write.