Warm

Even the hottest of fires won’t make me warm this winter. Without you sitting beside me, I can’t breathe. I said I could make it, life would go on. I deceived myself for selfish reasons. It’s my own fault that now you are not mine. Were you ever in the first place? I have no clue. This season, I’m just seeking a future. As I stare outside and the freezing air bights my face before I close the window, I want to be warm. The cold outside is better than not having you. The arctic breeze that pushes me to endless gates and telephone poles. As I try my hardest to grab hold of my world, it keeps spinning me out if control. If you were beside me, the wind would stop. The breeze would be gentle and life would exist as a happy place. No. I’ve got to move on. Onward from the dream that you will come back to me. Away from the thought that you are merely where I cannot see you. These thoughts and dreams stab me, they hurt. I am trying to force lies upon myself, I can’t give in to the power that you have over me. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair. You chose for it to be this way, right? I’ve done nothing wrong, please? Say I am not lying. Say that I speak the truth. I beg for me to be nothing but a shadow of memory that never did anything to make this happen. I know that I am, though. I know that I did this, you didn’t really choose for it to be this way, I’ve done everything wrong. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the choices you agreed to and the accusations that are shot back and forth like bullets. I’m sorry if you’re hurting, I am too. I want you back. I want the warmth of having you near, of you being mine and me being yours. I am desperate. I try every minute to pull myself back in, back together. I try my hardest to let me live my own life. I can be free of you, so why won’t I let myself? The memory of you is the cause, the thoughts are to blame. Not you or me. It’s the thoughts. The thoughts were why this started, why I feel the sharp chill. It’s the thoughts. So please say no or yes...I just want to be happy this winter, I want to be warm.

Author's Note

I just wrote this off the whim. It's a short story about thoughts messing with someones ability to live and love. It's not based off of a true story. Please leave reviews!
Best regards,
Dell

Reviews

[Bluefire]

This is very good, It made me think of a broken hearted man sitting atop a bench with old fashioned street lights on either side of that bench,
all consumed in his thoughts and emotions as his body grows cold, for snow is falling.
Very well done, I like this piece! ^^

[Leigh]

I like the parallel you draw between the warmth you desire and the love you seek, also this is a nice size of writing to read, is it 200 or 300 words? Very advanced writing for someone of your age I would say, which is fantastic to experience.

[Phillitup]

thank you very much! :)

[Amandaaa Caroline (:]

Very interesting, nice write (: happy new year!

[Mir]

Each writing that you post just seems to get better and better! When I read this, I pictured a girl sitting alone in like a glow of a firelight. Great job!

[Theartofburning]

Ah, this has to be one of my fav. pieces by you.
Reminds me of my writes to the night.
You left my veins arctic.
The blood frozen into solid crystals,
weighing me down with your despondency.
Amazing.

[Phillitup]

Thank you

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Lovely, it fit in with the fact that it's freezing lately because it's winter.

[Phillitup]

:)

[RachelReaper]

You picked a great time to write this considering we are all entering the winter season and not to mention I've always loved the fire theme.

[Salar Majak]

i applaud this work of yours, it made me smile, and feel so sad the same time, don't ask me how, it was as if i was listening to music,great music, great write.
Sal.

[Phillitup]

Thank you!

[Bronwen Cox Hollinger]

Beautiful...

[Falling Leaf.]

Interesting. Kind of like a monologue. There are a few little grammar/spelling things but nothing that took away from the initial punch of the piece.