Part one, Chapter One

It was a quiet day in the middle of December. The students of Lincoln High were anxious for the time, in three weeks, when school would finally get out for winter break. They were all excited for the winter dance, two days before the break. Each was trying their hardest to get a date and everyone had someone else in mind. The girls came to school everyday looking their best, trying to impress some boy while the boys came with all their courage to try to ask someone. Of course, like always, not everyone would click with their crush.

XXX

"Who are you thinking of asking to the dance?" Josh asked while leaning coolly against his locker. His friend, Brandon, was looking for something intently inside his own. Grabbing some books, he slammed it shut.
"I don't know..." He trailed off, his gaze shifting down the hall. Josh smiled and nudged him gently.
"You know, your going to ask Natalie." Brandon fought off a grin, trying to maintain his composure.
"Maybe...what about you?"
Josh shifted his binders from one arm to the other, stiffening. "No one. I might hang out with the others."
"Dude, the others already have their own dates. If I score Natalie then you'll be totally on your own."
Josh looked to the ground. "Yeah, I know..." The bell rang as the hallways cleared. "I'll see ya later." Josh left Brandon alone in the hallway, stunned. Brandon knew that his friend had someone in mind, he just wasn't sure who. As a friend, he thought it was his duty to find out.

XXX

Natalie fingered her paper reluctantly. The scrawl of neat cursive writing lay before her, waiting. "Last call!" Mrs. Marmac called from the front of the room. Natalie picked up her pen, scribbling her name at the top, along with the date. She hurriedly waved it in the air, signaling for Mrs. Marmac to wait for her sheet. Her teacher came and grabbed it, tossing it on a huge pile of papers. "I hope you all took time on your stories, they'll take some time to grade. Don't be unhappy if you don't have your paper back in your hand tomorrow. You might not have it again until after break." Natalie sighed unhappily. In truth, she had put no time into writing the story. She'd had the assignment since Halloween and had carelessly shoved the rubric into her bag. This morning, when she was cleaning out that same bag, she had stumbled on it and frantically scribbled one short page about the dream she'd had the night before. Looking at the stack, Natalie had realized how much others had written. Josh had even turned in a twenty page, typed story that he claimed was about a boy who had a huge secret. Brenda, the nerd girl, had turned in a one-hundred page novel about some girl who got a new sibling or something. She tugged her backpack from up off the ground and fished out a bright pink binder. Then she snatched out some random papers from the bag and slid them into a folder inside the binder for later. She put everything back, fluffing her hair into a high ponytail. She zipped the bag, keeping one hand on a strap. She let it slide out of her hand as Mrs. Marmac returned to the front of the room and told them to take a literature book from the book shelf and flip to page 964. Natalie groaned, but while she was in the back getting her book she stole a glance in the two desks where class nerds sat everyday. She waved at Thomas nonchalantly and smiled. He ignored her. Natalie blushed. She had to hold herself back from revealing who her secret crush was to the world. She didn't want to loose her hard earned reputation.

Author's Note

I know this is only about 600 words, apologize that it is not the size of a regular chapter.

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

This was a good start to your story, slowly introducing us readers to your characters.
One correction for you "Her teacher came and grabbed it, tossing it on a hug pile of papers." You forgot the 'e' in huge. :)
Also, in the third paragraph of the story you used the verb 'fished' twice in in close proximity. I would choose another verb there that way you aren't repeating yourself.
Great start though!

[Phillitup]

Thanks! I'll change that!

[Brandon Overstreet]

Very good start to your book. I can relate to this very much and I look forward for more.

[Phillitup]

Cool...thanks

[s y e]

Ooooo, I like it so far! (:
This is a good beginning. This will be an interesting story (:

[Phillitup]

Thanks...

[s y e]

Anytime! (:

[RavenWells]

The word stunned in the first paragraph seems a little too much for that sentence. I would suggest changing it to a word with a weaker connotation. Also, the whole "I must keep my secret from the world" seems a little over dramatic. Besides those two things you have the beginning to an interesting story here. Nice job. :)

[Phillitup]

Thank you...

[Green]

This sounds interesting. Hmmm, wonder what's gonna happen....

[Phillitup]

Thanks!