Dread

Chills
making a racing track
out of my spine

Lumps
like jumping beans
in my throat

Butterflies
breaking free from cocoons
in my stomach

Sweat
from my pores
onto dying skin

Hot flash
like a burning fire
scurrying through nerves

The dread
that fills me
from head to toe

Author's Note

Please leave reviews, I desperately want reviews!

Reviews

[Icelanna]

I hate to be a damper on the nicer reviews you've had, but I always say there is room for improvement -_-
SOO.... You need punctuation. Without it there is no stopping only a very constant flow which is not good. Caesuras add pauses, which add emotion etc. However a full stop after the first word of each stanza "Chills." seems more definite, creates power and tension. If you want a flow then I suggest using enjambment to give a nice flow but personally I would isolate the stanzas orthographically to create a physical view of Isolation and how it's written on the page.
I like the length of it, any more would make it drag I think so good use of selecting the main body. I do like the different lexical fields of each word and the whole lexis of dread and negativity. Nicely tied in. Well done.
Hope this helps, happy to review anything :]
Love to you x

[Phillitup]

Thank you SO much! I always look for reviews that help me. I'll take everything that you have said into consideration. This review is a huge help! You are an amazing critic!
Best regards,
Dell

[Andorianskye]

one word, powerful

[Phillitup]

thanks

[Akira Kodama]

I am quite a fan of short poetry. I enjoyed the subtle yet detailed wording. Good write.

[Phillitup]

thank you!

[scripted]

this is so simple but so powerful... a very nice way to express your emotion and your dread... i love it

[.Lost Soul.]

This is short, but powerful. I really liked the structure. It had a nice flow and an easy feel.
Great write! 100/100

[Phillitup]

Thank you greatly!

[.Lost Soul.]

Anytime :)