Hoodie

Blood and paint
splattered
my jacket
since age ten
I have failed to grow
much
things change
but not my hoodie
stories
of my life
tired soul
shadowed from the cold

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

What an interesting tale... great metaphor! I do strongly believe our clothing has stories of its own, from where we've been to what we've done. This piece is great as it is... I honestly don't think it needs punctuation. It makes it unique without it... in my opinion. I know others may disagree. Yes, it can come across as 'choppy' but I think its 'choppiness' suits its style. Well done

[Phillitup]

Thank you so much!

[scripted]

this has a very ceative meaning behind it nice job... yours truely Danielle (scripted)

[Salar Majak]

nice one!, i know what you mean by the way ;), great peice

[Bluefire]

Very interesting piece. May I suggest you use punctuation marks? I didn't notice until someone pointed out to me how confusing it could be for your audiance without them. Just a thought.
Well done anyway. ^^

[Phillitup]

I'll definitely think about it...thanks :)

[Bluefire]

No problem, your writing is much better than mine when I was your age, with a little work you can be a great auther someday. ^^

[Empty Spaces]

i also love this one :)

[Savior of Time]

Hoodies are full of secrets and stories from everywhere. I enjoyed this poem.

[David Scott]

Layers of metaphorical clothing!
A very fine write.

[RavenWells]

It's a good poem, but it comes off a little choppy. I have this problem a lot myself. :) I like the theme of it that some things never change.

[Phillitup]

I think maybe I want the story of this jacket to be choppy. Thanks for your incite!

Best regards,

Dell