Coming

The world
is swirling around me
tumbling
like a whirlwind

Life
is passing by
swiftly
like traffic on a green light

Today
is completely gone
tomorrow
is approaching fast

It's coming
going
leaving
amazing

Why won't
the
world
slow

Reviews

[Ees]

Damn girl! and you're young yet! It'll only go faster and faster from here on out! Each day, week, month, year gets progressively faster as it slides away from you! Before you know it, you'll be thinking about the time you and your best friend hiked a mountain together, remembering it as if it happened last week only to realize that it has been a whole decade since that time.

Beautiful job on the poetry. It is relatable and true! Though I don't think that whirlwinds "tumble"... so you may want to look at your word choices in that part and think about what you think of them. As a whole I love this poem and think that you did a fantastic job!

[Phillitup]

thanks for your helpful review...i'll consider changing the word

[Leigh]

The older you get, the faster the world goes and the more likely you are to get thrown off I suppose. Your writing does show maturity beyond your years, which ironically will save you time later in life ! :-)

[Bluefire]

I'm sure this has passed through every mortal's mind, it certainly has mine.
I agree, life is too short.
Well done! ^^

[RachelReaper]

I agree! Today everything goes so.. so... fast. everything is on warp speed and its not slowing down for anyone.

[Empty Spaces]

i like very well thought out. :)

[Salar Majak]

"Life
is passing by
swiftly
like traffic on a green light"
this is amazing, the whole theme of the poem is, let me tell you something, age has absolutly nothing to do with creativity, well done, and clever on the right side alignment, keep om going Poet, race time, challange it, because it won't slow down, so you have to catch it before it slips away. again well done

[Phillitup]

thanks!

p.s. do you mean challenge it because you wrote challange it

[Salar Majak]

oh hehe yup i do mean challenge, sorry, typo

[Sid]

I don't really like the right side alignment, but the poem itself is well written specially considering you are only 13 years old, it is surprising that being so young can sort out your thoughts so well, the feeling of life leaving you behind is well conveyed, all you can do is make the most of what you have because frankly life just seems to get faster as you age, things you desire just fly by and you are left with regret but since you are so young just try and make sure you do things the way you want to, don't get unnecessarily swayed by others...very good write, well done!

[Ambereen]

awesome.... so true ....you have real sortedthoughts compared to normal 13 yr olds

[ℰmerald ⚓]

Damn, it's hard to believe this came from a 13 year old, I like the way you described the world flying by around you. As if you can only stand there and watch as all the familiar faces and places pass by, grow old, or get destroyed. Fantastic poem :)

[Dinali Sathma]

:) ... why won't the world slow down .. why did align it to the right side? Is there any special reason?

[Phillitup]

to represent how slanted life is...

[Dinali Sathma]

Good idea