Chapter One: Jesse

I'm really excited that summer's here instead of stupid school. I don't know anyone who likes school. There is this one really weird girl though. Her name starts with an x...I think. No. I think it starts with a D. Dell? Maybe. That's the company that makes my computer. It always flunks out on me. Back to the girl. She gets good grades. She's kinda cute. The only thing is that she thinks oddly. I looked at her notebook a few weeks back in math class when she was in the bathroom. There are drawings all over it of crazy things. Unicorns, leprechauns, weird words even. I don't know where her head ever is, but she's a maniac. When I'm walking home from school sometimes I walk past the farm she lives on, my family has a farm too. When she reaches the rough driveway, she flings her backpack and starts running around, screaming. There's something that's not right about her. And speaking of summer, that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna find out what's wrong with that girl.

Reviews

[CreativeStroke]

I think this might benefit a little better with some more concrete information about your character, giving us readers a chance to get to know him more. Maybe some background information? More thoughts from his point of view? I just feel there wasn't quite enough substance here. Also, your first couple sentences are very choppy and need to either be combined or reworded. Something to help with the flow and make it a little easier to read.
I do like that you added the fact that he has plan for the summer though. That is some information that catches the reader's interest.

[Icelanna]

I think this would be better suited as a prologue. Its short and tells you specific information about what is going to happen. Prologues supply knowledge which has either happened before, show the end at the beginning or whole pieces of info you can' fit in the main body which relate before the story.
I like the fact she talks about her computer halfway through thinking, very teenaged indeed, I still do it nowadays. Lol
Very good.
Love to you x

[Phillitup]

I mean, maybe. I see it as an introduction too but I think this introduction is fine as a regular chapter. I appreciate it though! Jesse is a he, I apologize if that was not clear. He says:" She's kinda cute." and I know that some don't like the same gender but in this case, it's a boy.

[Icelanna]

Ah, see I know 3 female Jessie's. -_- Sorry :]

[Phillitup]

It's spelled Jesse but I have known some girls who spell it that way...it's fine!