Lost

Someday I'll be stronger
More sure in what I love
Not sure that I'll belong here
My gift, a wary dove
For now I'm in the dark
Completely lost
Hoping that over days of dread
Someone will find where I have led

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think. This is my first writing post. I hope you enjoy it.

Reviews

[Alexander D. May]

Martine, this is very good. I feel as though I only get the broad sense of what your describing. Possibly look into portraying your points better, use more imagery and more descriptive vocabulary. This work does have a lot of depth to it, I loved the line 'My gift, a wary dove'. Such multiple layers to this writing, and it can also be interpreted in many different ways!

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much Alex. I thank you especially for your advice. I don't write many poems. I enjoy the thought of an open-ended poem sometimes. I like letting the reader choose what they think. Makes it more interesting.

[Nobody Now]

I like this. Reminds me of a song I like from Chris Cornell - Euphoria Morning - Follow My Way -
"...So follow my way,
when I'm not leading anyone.
Open and frayed,
when you can see that I'm unsure.
Out on my way,
I'm only pure when I get lost,"

Poignant little piece. Like the feeling behind it. Short, sweet. I love when a feeling can be tied up so nicely in a small package. Nice work.

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much!

[scripted]

i dont no why i went back to your first write... its wierd that i did but this was a very good piece

[Red Brick Keshner]

Plaintive & dulcet in its lyricism. Would love to hear this performed live. I am quite intrigued at what a wary dove looks like. But the general tone of the poem says it all. I guess darkness is a matter of both perspective and location. That being said, a change of mind and a move of position could very possibly bring light unless of course the darkness lay deeper within. Moving poem. Thanks for sharing. Now on to other poems that have succeeded this one. See you there!

[Phillitup]

Thank you very much! I tend to put my poems together around mystery, hope, or darkness. Please do read more!

[Red Brick Keshner]

Will do, and hope my poems are palatable to you as well. No invectives, although many of them darkish in tone and several employing less used words & phraseology. What I hunger most for is a open minded and open ended interaction as poems take us on their journey. I find that many people, even poets among them, that do not have that explorative and flexible approach to poems, specially those that do not bear the semblance of traditional form and structure.

For now I am about ready to call it a night. Been a long day and it will be midnight soon in my locale. But I promise to read more and hopefully one day to even co-write. I am waiting patiently to find out what journeys you have taken with my poems. I believe it will open my eyes and my awareness.

See you around the site and amongst the fronds and blooms of this poetic garden. :-)

[Phillitup]

See you!

[angelface13]

I liked the beginning couple lines a lot. The last two lines were a bit shaky. Be confident in what you write. Don't think about it to much. Then it gets rid of the flow of the story you are telling.

[Phillitup]

Thanks! I'm glad you like it!

[Aurora Dawn]

This is very good, great job!

[Phillitup]

Thanks! I'm glad you like it!