dog trap

s/he got a new dog &

like many dogs before it,

it shed & it jumped up on the

sofa, the comfy chair in the

living room, etc.---

in regards to the prior dogs in

her/his life, s/he had

“suffered” the hair deposits,

the smell of dog, be it dry or

wet, and the rest of the

litany of petty problems

which dog owners will claim

when going to great lengths

to tame & beat their happy dog

into submission---

one day,

s/he came up with an idea

as to how to get the dog off the

chair & the sofa---

s/he got up early in the morning,

wrapped the chair in a sheet &

then subsequently wrapped that

sheet in electrical tape, masking

tape &

that really sticky gray duct tape,

all with the adhesive side facing up---

after the chair was engulfed in tape,

s/he left the house &

went to work.

 

low & behold,

when the once-frustrated dog owner

returned to her/his abode that evening,

there was a whimper coming from the

living room---

the dog, a shaggy dog whose resemblance

to a frayed towel

was uncanny,

had gotten itself stuck on the tape &

the pulling of its hair in the attempt to escape

the tape-engulfed chair,

was too much for the poor dog,

who had been undergoing the pain for

who knows how long---

the satisfied owner

talked conceitedly to the dog,

asking it what the problem was

(as if the poor dog had any idea what

this horrible human was babbling) &

then got down on her/his knees to

help the dog from the trap that had

worked out just the way the owner

suspected that it would,

because the dog never set foot on the

chair or the sofa again.