a sadness in the eyes

na.

upon first attractiveness,

mixed with a self-assessment,

pretending you don’t have a “league,”

yet then wondering if s/he’ll speak to you,

the walk up is full of butterflies,

the keeping of the hands at the sides is

torture,

the sputtering of whatever comes out

sure the hell wasn’t planned,

but then when the face appears

looking straight at you,

with a millisecond of focus

before it all goes away &

this is your moment

this is your chance in the spotlight

to keep the interest of the one that

has infatuated now from afar,

only increasing as one became closer &

closer,

so you muster all your wit,

do your best to keep your cool &

remember what it is that you yourself have to

offer,

but as your eyes make contact with his/hers,

you see a sadness,

though s/he does their best to hide it,

there is a story there,

which becomes the most interesting thing

that you never would have noticed

if you stayed ogling from a

distance---

still, it pulls you in,

because the tragedy behind the eyes

is going to reel you in with the rest of the

package, bringing the baggage to the

forefront &

even though you want to make like it’s a

“human thing,”

telling yourself that s/he would have to deal with

your baggage too,

you retract,

make the conversation end quickly

as just another pretty face

becomes laden with drama

which would make this a

project of sorts &

your own interest has

turned.