the widow & the apple orchard

after enduring years of neglect

when she needed to know she was not alone &

abuse, when all she wanted was to be held with

care,

he

finally

died.

 

though her friends had told her to leave him,

she stayed---

though her family had disowned her because of him,

she stayed &

dreamt of one thing

every time she went for a stroll to dry her tears out behind the house

in the acres of country,

while he was at work or the bar,

or in the bed of another woman & it was

the

apple

orchard,

which she imagined like Ray Kinsella did the baseball diamond &

the players, the game & the fans that would follow---

she dreamt of biting into the sweet apples that she would grow herself,

regardless of what age would bring her,

regardless of how many of her friends dropped like flies around her,

regardless if she had any family left at all,

those apples would grow,

she insisted upon it in her head &

though every time he came home with someone else’s perfume rubbed all over him &

every time he backhanded her at the dinner table,

she questioned herself if it was all worth it,

she really didn’t see any reason to live anymore,

except for her dream.

 

when he died, she got the house, all the acreage &

with the money in his savings which had become hers,

she went to the garden store & bought 3 apple trees,

to begin what she envisioned as her apple orchard,

burying his ashes in the dirt below

burying his ashes in the dirt below

burying his ashes in the dirt below.