the backpaddler

saying what they actually mean to at first,

the backpaddlers watch the facial expressions of those around them

change &

the change is not what the backpaddler expected,

so quickly in their heads

they go over the statements made only moments ago

to pinpoint just where everything went wrong,

but now, there is no turning back---

what has been said, has been said &

rather than to fess up to those in the context

honestly & without remorse about the situation,

coming to realize that the person who said such a thing

is in fact

the REAL person in the room,

with all the faults, flaws & offensive characteristics of

every human being

specific to one’s own idiosyncrasies & scarring that comes from

a life lived thus far,

the backpaddler begins to apologize

bumbling, fumbling & babbling

through quickly manufactured excuses,

where it looks like this suffering can’t go on much longer

before this horrible liar

signs up to go to seminary or

registers themselves as a candidate in the next

local election.