the interview

a.“so, tell me a little about yourself.”

b.”well, i enjoy hang gliding.”

a.”ah ha.”

a.”oh, i’m sorry…did you mean that i should tell you something about myself that really relates to this company?”

a.”well now, that’s not exactly what i was implying, but it would probably be more relevant to this interview.”

b.”ah.  so, why don’t you just be more specific?  why not just ask me to tell you about myself in relation to this company?  how i came to be sitting in front of you…you know, things of that nature?”

a.”well sir, i assumed that you would…”

b.”you assumed?  didn’t your momma tell you what happens when you assume?”

a.”uh, sure, i guess.”

b.”how are you really going to know anything about a worker that may or may not be under your employ, if you aren’t honest with them yourself?”

a.”well sir, this interview isn’t about me or the company answering questions.  it is about you and whether or not we feel that you are a good fit for the position.”

b.”i see.  so let’s say i smile and kiss your a*s, tell you flat out lies about how i always dreamed about working here, you hire me and then one day i come in with a gym bag full of automatic weapons, bullets and an attitude…will you look back on this interview and wonder then just what questions might really have been the relevant ones to ask then?”

a.”sir, this interview is over.”

b.”wrong answer, bud.  wrong answer.”