apology too late

when memories that won't leave you alone

begin to threaten your life

there is a primary impulse to drop everything &

go running---

trying to find the ones you hurt

way way back in the beginning of your life

trying to find the ones that you hurt

yesterday or an hour ago,

all in an act of hoped for forgiveness

all in an act of desperate pathetic fantasy

all in an act,

like the worst actor in the world

gone up on the stage to perform a

one person show

of which nothing but s**t

is displayed.

 

contrary to prior beliefs held by those that still think there is some greater justice,

your apology comes too late &

no one has anything to say to you, except

to shout that you must go away---

 

and so the cut widens

and so the memories continue to haunt your daylight hours

and so the horrors take over your dreams---

 

closure is a fallacy

bred for idiots who think that they deserve to sleep well at night.