jenny fake happy

jenny got informed early in

life that to get by she needed

to lock up all her emotions,

she got told that there was a

proper way to be & if she stayed

that proper proper way, that

it would open up the road to

success, wealth & fame, if she

let it, if she desired it (the desire

of such things was said to be

the end-all-be-all by said

informant)---to excel in the

proper way, she found quickly

that to present each & every

person she met with a face

full of the most amiable

happy dappy which she could

muster (absolutely regardless

of what it was that she was

feeling inside) would ensure

the best possible outcome,

regarding her journey to the

top.

 

some people loved her, at least

the “her” that they saw &

some people weren’t convinced,

so she spent her days of youth in

that private campaign, that uphill

struggle, pushing that rock to

make sure it doesn’t roll down &

crush…she did so, in order to be

liked by all, she did so, in order

to try & erase what was really

going on inside.

 

alas, jenny fake happy’s innards,

they just didn’t agree with what

the mind & will had been concocting…

for them this was a wick that

had been burning at both ends for

quite some time---for them this was

a waste of energy…energy that was

not replenishable, energy that did not

come from a renewable resource.

 

so when her body rebelled, she just

wasn’t ready---for the campaign

will stress you out (but ya can’t

show it now, because somebody’ll

find you out), the campaign will

drain you (can’t show it now,

somebody’ll find you out), the

campaign will wreck you & leave

you out to dry

&

in that drying process, she had

no real friends, because they’d

never spent full time with her,

she had no real love because it was

all based on the image, she had

no compassionate medicine of

any kind &

the disease that had riddled her

distracted body,

did her in---

and

that

was

real.