False Start

 

Maybe…

 

A world away

Promises gone dark

Left in the sway

Calloused parts

Remain to this day

 

Forgotten was the start

Left alone in dismay

Slowly coming apart

Searching for a way

To keep you at heart

 

Too heavy to weigh

To difficult to stay the spark

Coming undone by the fray

Sanity’s light is stark

Another day turned ash grey

 

Maybe…

Reviews

[Kevin Andros]

A simple straight forward peice, explaining an immensly complex thing. This is the contrast that I loved the most in this peice. My favorate from the peice:

Forgotten was the start
Left alone in dismay
Slowly coming apart
Searching for a way
To keep you at heart

The start forgotten, left all alone in dismay, but still searching for a way, "To Keep you at heart!" Ze best!
~KA~

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

my favorite line is "Calloused parts" shows strong imagery,

---mishel

[Tovli]

i really liked the simplicity--it commanded a strong effect. enjoyed. tovli

[Deborah Shepard]

creative , realisation loved it

[Phill Oz O'fee]

It read like a relationship falling apart and the realisation complacency had replaced love. Unrequited affection in the making, eroding and destroying the beauty of devotion.

But that's just my interpretation! Original and creative piece - excellent.

God's Blessing
Phillozofee

[Bill Grimes Jr.]

It flows like a song with a Reggae riff......Great work my friend...

Peace,

Bill :-)

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I loved it. It was short sweet and lovely, full of careful hope as I feel we all should be.

[Pinky]

wow... i think i wrote something kinda the same... but i havent posted it...

[E. M. Murren]

The delicacy of this work is fascinating... like lace. It is lovely, yet contemplative... possibilities. Really well done.

[Carrie Montgomery]

this is awesome. I read it and re-read it. it is SO professional! put together very well from beginning to end.

"Too heavy to weighTo difficult to stay the sparkComing undone by the fraySanity's light is starkAnother day turned ash grey" very nicely done.

[Nameless]

wow. this is the kind of poem that sucks your breath out as you read it in one long sigh. bravo