The Man on the Moon

Conscious. Subconscious. Exes. Separation.

I feel like it's been an entire month since I left, but for you I know it's only been a single day. It's been a single day for both of us, really. But that's the perspective I have from up here. I left. I attained a proper escape velocity. I remember watching you out of the glass window like a film, recounting all of our precious memories, slowly fading into the distance. As if the nature of your being is no longer mine to burden. As if the nature of this new place could one day be my home. It's cold up here at times but I like watching you from this distance.

 

And I was watching you the other day, actually. You were moving at a steady pace, as you always do, and the strangest thing happened. I saw a dark spot moving across your face, as if a shadow from a cloud had swept across you and only you. Your face was in a shadow and you were looking up at me. It would have been embarrassing, I feel, but I don't think you noticed me at all, or at least not all of me. Perhaps I was too far away, but you were definitely squinting. The onlookers must have thought you were crazy or something.

 

And you might not realize it at times, but we move around each other a lot. All the time, really. I'm just more aware of these things, I think. You've got a big head and so the people that revolve around you sometimes go missing. But it's just the way our schedules work these days. Sometimes I walk past you and I don't think you see me at all. But I'm always here. Sometimes It makes me feel like I'm nothing, but it's probably just that time of the month for you. And I remember how you'd always joke, it was that time of the month for me, right?

 

And sometimes your face is glowing. It lights up and I think you must be pretty healthy. I'm truly happy you've attained a positivity on the day so frequently now. More than I ever could, but that was just your perspective, really. I'm positive, just as much as you are. But when you get like that? All I can manage to see is your other side. Perhaps that's the part of me that knows you best. Perhaps I'm just projecting with these ideas and thoughts of something I rarely see from my own positive perspective, but all the same I can't help but feel your shadow cross my face. Sometimes I feel my own darkness creep across it when all the life in you is shining like that. You're bitter side would say I was grimacing, but I'm really smiling on the inside. It's best for both of us.

 

And I honestly feel as though we are just on different planes of reality. We just don't work well with each other. We are inseparable, like some kind of unity in opposites for a play, but it's just because we were born and raised in that conflicting way that we were. It would be a comedy, most likely. And I don't blame you, and I don't blame myself either - you've got your prerogative and it just doesn't align with mine. But the universe will never let us grow apart, so I learn to deal with the interesting times we share with each other now.