What Will Tomorrow's Outcome Be?

Can't you see?
Veterans aren't the only ones who've fought in wars.

Can't you see?
Cancer isn't the only sickness that kills.

Can't you see?
Motivation is an illusion to me.

I fight a war in against my mind, in the mirror, and all by myself.
There is nobody beside me to shoot the harmful thoughts away, 
I have to do that myself.
Day by day I want to die.
I've tried.
Yet people see cancer patients fighting for their lives and shun me for trying to take mine.

They fight because they still have motivation to.
They fight because they know people would care.
They fight because they have a life beyond their pain.

I don't because I have no motivation to fight any more.
I don't because no would care.
I don't because there is no "life beyond my pain."

"Find the silver linings." my mom always says.
There are none no matter how hard I search.
Just like motivation, silver linings are illusions.
I might live for a bit.
I take it day by day.
Therefore, tomorrow has a different outcome from today.