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Life is still the same

Life is still the same

A Poem by deeps

 

 

I had a wide circle of friends,

 

The life had its funny,free trends...

 

Everything was smooth and fine

 

I felt like as long as my friends are with me,the world is mine.

 

 

A cloud came and sunshine lost

 

I felt that I was suffering the most

 

The friends who cared seemed far off

 

The mirages blurred my vision

 

The life was engulfed with autumn season.

 

 

An old friend sang the familiar song for me

 

And I realised that with shut eyes how could I see...

 

The world was still full of spring

 

I found that in my heart there was still a zing

 

The gloomy days never last for long

 

At times,I could also be wrong

 

Wrong at predicting the things which never were

 

And when I opened my eyes,the days did glitter again.

 

© 2008 deeps


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Reviews

This was very unique, and I really enjoyed reading it, Great work, Orlando Murcia. Oh and welcome to the CAFE!! :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


wonderful , sweet poem , keep on posting :) . Yossi

Posted 16 Years Ago


very cool, I like the rethem. Not a bad point of life eather. It really tells others your veiws on life and how you fell. Well this was a realy (good read)

From GOTHIC-COWBOY.

Posted 16 Years Ago


I enjoyed this. The colors; the meaning; the ryhming; all written very well. The only problem I have with it (and maybe it's just me) is that the flow seems off at parts. Other than that, good job!

Posted 16 Years Ago


This is really a beautiful piece of writing and the message behind it is just awesome...I do remember when my schooling got over , I somehow realized and felt the same thing that now I won't be able to stay in contact with my friends..yeah! It somehow actually happened but I'm still in a very good contact with some of my very good friends and you know that's what Life is all about..It never ever stops for anyone...Life goes on and I'm sure It'll make you more strong!
The choice of colors and formatting is just awesome, also the rhyme and flow is quite appealing to the reader too..
But, I found few spelling errors in it....life-

"An old friend sang the familier song for me" -It should be familiar

and similarly in this line-

"Wrong at perdicting the things which never were"- It should be predicting I guess..

Rest is all fine...Great piece of writing and I surely loved it..Keep writing! :)






Posted 16 Years Ago


This was very well written, and the color addition to it was a nice touch, you know? That was an excellent job with rhyming. Sometimes rhyming can be hard, since even though you may think of a word that rhymes, you also have to take into consideration that the word has to make since, or it will not work at all. Just make sure that you keep the same attitude throughout the poem that you are trying to get across, but this was still a very good poem, nonetheless. I really liked the style and such of the poem, so keep up the good work, and I look forward to reading more!

Posted 16 Years Ago


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Sid
A persuasive message given in the poem with a good rhyming also

Posted 16 Years Ago


i like the message and the color. I have a grammar thing though, careful for that, it can make an impression upon someone very different. ^^' good job with the rhyming, it's tough for me to do so i really respect people who can pull it off. in poetry you need to think carefully about each and every word you use and make sure each has the attitude and feeling you want because they create pictures in people's heads with the phrasing and everything, so just keep that in mind. ^^ don't go too willy-nilly with words that you think are cool. I really do like this poem though. could use a little bit of revision.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Very well-written with a nice message to it.
Things can't be bad forever!

Wonderful work; love the color.
Keep writing!

Posted 16 Years Ago



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217 Views
9 Reviews
Added on June 23, 2008
Last Updated on June 25, 2008

Author

deeps
deeps

Agra, India



Writing
Dewy Face Dewy Face

A Poem by deeps