A Void

It's a sad poem, but I was in the mood to write it, so it's really good.

Broken up, empty and filled with despair

I still wonder what I’m doing in this world

With a body always unsatisfied.

Trying to break free is almost impossible

But I still hold hope.

Hope that someone somewhere can fill this continuous

Void that seems to be opening up.

That someone doesn’t have to be a human

Like this body I still fill.

It could be an animal, too.

But I still hope. As I always do.

Author's Note

What do you think of the short poem? Don't have much experience and criticism is always welcome!

Reviews

[Joan Probst]

I can appreciate this poem for I have written poems about the void of loneliness and hopelessness. I would suggest using a more vivid vocabulary and plan out your lines so they are more clear and flowing. I loved it! Keep it up!

[Wondering Mind]

Personally, I prefer short poems. This one was nicely done- the "continuous void" is haunting. Thanks for sharing.

[...]

. intense ... and so is the void ... the more intense it is ... the more intensity of meaning you'll need to fill it up with ... ultimately, these are pointers to a rewarding quest ... beautifully written ...

[R.C.A.]

I like this poem. Considering the fact that you said you don't have much experience you have a great raw talent. The only thing about this poem was the ending not making sense. I would edit the lines, "That someone doesn't have to be human Like this body I still fill. It could be an animal too." I like the phrase, "Like this body I still fill," but the animal part isn't well described. maybe you can talk about transformation from human to animal or something like that. ~Keep writing!~