Of Tears and Realizations

"The tears flow easily and easily..."

The tears flow easily and freely
Without thought or recourse.
Will I ever be able to stand-up for myself?
Or am I destined to be dependent and blubbery?

It's always been like that
Ever since I can recall.
I feel like a wimpy kid
Who can't stand up for herself.

I just want someone to be there
And just listen-
Not get angry, defensive
Or dump their problems on me.

I know I should be grateful for my loving family
And my wonderful friends,
Bu what are they
When I am my weakest
And just need a shoulder to lean on to.

I don't expect much from people-
Sure, I'm not perfect
Far from it, actually-
But I try to be strong
For people I care about,
And for myself.

But I'm only human,
And I can break down rather easily,
So I do need to talk to someone,
Who'll be there for me.

It's been years,
And many family members
I've gone to
To talk about my smaller problems.
Hell, I've even gone to a counselor.
But it's not the same
I'm still me-
My blubbery self-depressed self.

But realization comes in many forms
And mine came in a dream-
I had an epiphany
That someone, someday will listen,
Look out and be there for me.
And I'm still waiting.

Author's Note

This one comes from the heart. This is what I actually feel. It's getting better when I'm loaded with work, but some days it seems so unbearable. I just felt like sharing it!

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[TLK]

You might need to be there for someone who needs you at the same time that they are there for you: for that is the co-dependency of love (especially when you're both a bit blubbery).