forlorn

my heart aches...here on paper for all to see....will it ever stop?...hmmm....you tell me....

do you know how despondent feels? really...do you? do you dare fathom what it means to cry every day....every day upon wake?  every night before slumber?  I feel as if I have cried an ocean...how can there be anything left in me....its easy...ha... there isn't...a broken shell you have left me, cracked and torn at the seams...barely holding together...do you like me this way? Is this some sort of sick game? AM I forever to wait on that hill, looking down at a future that was never mine anyway?  Your games aren't fun, I don't want to play...leave me to die here slowly, no more poison in my veins....wait whats this? movement I feel?  deep in my belly, kicking me awake....hey you! yes you up there! you have to live for me whether you want to or not....i'm still here...you cant cry me away...although I feel like you always try....oh great...the start of another day...why cant you just shy away...you stupid bright sun...cant you see?! cant you SEE?! I don't want to see....This isn't a new beginning....go breathe life somewhere else...for all your might, there is no escape from the cold damp dark here...trust me when I say ive tried....lies woven so tight, lost in the web of this beautiful spider...waiting, yearning for that bite...curse that damn fence! curse that damn hill! Can I pour hot oil and watch it burn?  I am no more to you, and therefore, you are no more to me...I guess I'll just leave this be...

Author's Note

I know its not poetry....it just is what it is...take it or leave it