Toxicity

Mid-summer '07

My words are toxic
Thoughts unseen
Like microscopic
Fiber optics
On topic
With love lust and angst
Hatred is my main subject
When it comes down to haste
Lyrics burn inside my mind
Like ragin animals within
My head keeps blazing
Contemplating giving in
My blood bumps in my veins
Bass beats surge in my soul
All my life I wanted something
Other than what I could hold
I keep fears and worries
Put off by passing foes
I keep family close
And enemies on their toes
I’m down with the flow
Cause I feel it when I sleep
I feel it when I talk
When I rap
When I speak
I enslave moral rights
Like America chained man
I’m the hanged man
Who broke his neck
And opened his eyes once again
Danglin’ from the rope
Tellin you what hell looks like
With your hatred as my noose
I tell you where you’re goin, and why
I keep my religion clouded
Unspecified and raw
Beliefs unbelievable
By you and your God
Beware of this dog
Who’s bark beats
His unbearable bite
Rabid with suffering
Infecting the innocent
With sorrow, doubt and spite
Shouting out at midnight
Through unbeatable plight
And with happiness in sight
I wont be hazed once again
She has impressively
And extensively
Chose me over him
And I’m ready to begin
My reconstruction of heart
Put together the pieces
That are always coming apart
Yet I’m still waiting
For the acid tipped dart
To catch me off guard
When I let down my defenses
In my metaphysical back yard
I’m on a different plane
As I’m lookin through souls
Seein the parts missing
Ceasing the ability to be whole
I stare growing cold
And just think when I’m old
I’ll be exactly where I want to be
Yet I’ve never really done what I was told
Until this point in my life
Where my words turn to knives
Cutting lovers when I speak
As if these cats had 9 lives
I put my hands at my sides
And just keep staring straight
I’ve felt love come once
At too early an age
Then I said it again
But didn’t mean it at all
Ruined my relationship
Yet my friendship took the fall
Then I had an epiphany
Like lightning in my mind
It told me that true love
Isn’t all that hard to find
And when I looked up
From that blasphemous dream
You wouldn’t believe
What I had to see
I saw love again
But I doubted its aim
And every doubt confused me
And infiltrated my brain
To the point where I didn’t know right
And couldn’t depict from wrong
I was stuck writing about suicide
Mixed in with homicidal love songs
Then my words rewrote themselves
Into a cirrocumulus cloud
Filled with my icy disrespect
Flowing hail from my mouth
And cutting at crowds
That fail to exist
I put grip on my knives
Until I’ve whitened my fist
I pull out my hit list
Put on my favorite mixes
And reflect on the wrong doings
Of some of these b*****s
And I took care of those itches
That pick at the back of my mind
I scratched em
And scabbed em
Soon those scars will be mine
Soon the world will be defined
As an inanimate sphere
Soon I’ll only hold mountains
And rainfall most dear
Soon the toxicity
Will spread like disease
Seein the hawk in the city
Keeps me displeased
Again I’m uneasy
Queasy in my thoracic
Rage emitting from my soul
Keeping my message drastic
My heartbeat spastic
Like a head covered in plastic
Duct taped for suction
On the induction of breath
Strangling self respiration
Kill you like I killed the rest
Stab you like a gore goin through your chest
Endin your quest
Its life I detest
I’m completin my test
Takin my spot ahead the best
Burnt down my origin
When I flew from the nest

Author's Note

Read it twice.