I Know I'm Not Really Well Tonight

I know I'm not really well tonight, a little on the manic side

 

Know I need to eat & get some precious sleep

Nobody knows this better than me

Often I ignore it, sometimes I deplore it, tonight I explore it

What will become of me I wonder as the years pass me by

 

I'm not quite as young or as strong as I use to be

My mind becomes manic & sometimes I panic, it's true

 

Now take my depression for instance; see what I have to say

Old memories come back that bring me to tears, so many wasted years

The sadness is such, that I think too much, in the past I do dwell

 

Reality takes on a different hue, as my manic world emerges

Environment surely plays a role in my array of mood swings

As I sit here tonight on this cold January evening, I know...

Likely there will be ice and snow, the weather gives me cabin fever

Likely come the springtime, I'll go through these changes again

You just never know exactly when, as it can happen at any given time

 

Weeks, it can last, the mania & the depression, regression

Emotionally unstable feelings emerge, feel like you could just die

Lucky for me, I've never been suicidal, just don't believe in it

Lost in a fantasy world of my own, I beckon you to come on in

 

The door is open tonight as I write my poetry, woe is me!

On the brighter side, I am creative, a genius of sort, straight A

Now on the other hand, I am quite childlike & often shy

I don't always take care of myself, often my hair is unkempt

God is my higher power, my grandfather, my friend

Heck, sometimes I'm really quite a scared of him

The psychiatrist hands me bottles of pills, & I lose my freewill