But Mama It's So Cold Outside

B ut mama, it's so cold outside

U nsure of where I'll my sleep tonight or get a bite to eat

T he streets are dangerous and I am but a child

 

M ama please let me in, I promise I'll be good

A nd I won't be in your way at all, I'll stay up in my room

M ama please don't shut me out, I'll be quiet as a mouse

A nd never make a sound, you won't even notice I'm around

 

I t's so cold outside, I just might freeze to death

T he winter air is crisp as steam escapes my breath

's cared to be so all alone, just too young to be on my own

 

S omebody teased me in school today and made me cry

O ver you having a boyfriend half your age, I don't see why

 

C an't understand what I did so wrong that you should shut me out

O nly wish at times like this, perhaps that I had never been born

L ove you so much mama, but I wonder if you love me too

D addy left us so long ago and I don't think he's ever coming back

 

O ut in the rain and the snow I find myself with no where to go

U nless I intrude on my friends and their parents can't comprehend

T he love affair you are having with that young man

S omething isn't right with this picture, mama

I  don't mind if he makes you happy, but why all the secrecy

D on't lock the door on me, please let me sleep in my own room

E ven our dog has a safe place to lay her head, at the foot of your fancy bed

Reviews

[angelina neves]

soooooooooooo sad... wonderfully done

[Helen Crutchett]

Heartbreaking Debileah. A thought provoking and stark reminder that kids have this and much more to endure everyday. It should not happen!

[George Love]

Very sad, very harsh. Loved the whole work, but those last lines drove this one home like the stake through the heart of a vampire!

[Katherine Hall]

That was terribly sad. I can't understand what kind of parent would ever lock their child out of their home. The last two lines "Don't lock the door on me, please let me sleep in my own room/even our dog as a safe place to lay her head, at the foot of your fancy bed" were the most heart-wrenching. Poems don't usually make me teary, but this one did!
I like this style you take with your poetry, making an acrostic out of the title. It's one you don't see very often.
Overall, very sad, but very good.
~Katherine

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Wow.. such a sad writing.. of a child in the cold in so many ways. This is heart-wrenching.. first being left by a father.. then a mother searching for love in the wrong way possibly. This is a difficult one to judge as the mother may have intentions of seeking a role-model for her child.. but clearly here the child is locked out of the bedroom and left alone. Living in partnership is a difficult thing.. balancing being a parent and searching for a partner needs to be carefully and slowly pursued. The locking of one's own adult bedroom in my mind is a good thing for occasional retreats of romance.. as we surely would not want our children to know what goes on.. but then we must unlock it so that we are available for our children. The ending where even the dog has a place at the foot of your fancy bed.. well this could be a true child's feelings.. feeling that a dog has more placement in the home then the child themselves. Myself.. having children.. have always put my children's needs first (even chancing judgement by friends).. dating slowly then if someone was too pushy or not respecting that balance.. I would have no choice but to put my children's needs first. However, life is expensive and a parent is not dead.. they eventually feel a need to move on once their partner has deserted them. Having more than 1 child puts tremendous pressure on that one struggling to provide (daycare, food, shelter, etc) especially if the ex-partner is not co-operative, unsupportive or is gone in every way. The cost of living is such that a woman not only having needs of her own but for that of her children places her in a position of having to find someone to share the cost of living. If anyone reads this above message.. if they have a husband with children whom they are considering leaving please get family-counselling before putting yourself in these circumstances. Your children need a safe home, with two parents who love them.. carefully consider the ramnifications of any decision made as it will ultimately affect your children as well as yourself. If there is spousal abuse.. contact the authorities and have a paper trail.. or go to a woman's shelter with your children.. if he abuses you in the home physically, severe psychological or otherwise simply kicking him out will not stop the issue. Thank you so much for sharing this writing.. from the heart of a past child in the cold... finding warmth today! =)

[theunknownchick]

This is an amazing poem. I like the structure and how it's written. Good Job :) Keep it up :)

[lindsay]

I enjoyed reading this alot, althoug such a painful, sad story, it was lovely.

[Su' Nacnetaf]

"you won't even notice I'm around" this is the line, the one I felt the most powerful in this poem, this reflects the struggle for acceptance, even though the main character feels with lack of love, also feels love for the mother. Truly wonderful, sad, but wonderful.