Gigilo

her boyfriend is just a gigilo

 

she needs to tell him where to go

 

she takes care of all his wants and needs

 

off of her kindness and innocense he feeds

 

he doesn't care if her heart bleeds

 

she works so hard for her money

 

he don't even call her honey

 

he makes her cry and thinks it's funny

 

he treats her like she's dirt

 

on his face he wears a smirk

 

he is such a lousy lazy jerk

 

on his face he wears a smirk

 

he treats her like she's dirt

 

he makes her cry and thinks it's funny

 

he don't even call her honey

 

she works so hard for her money

 

he doesn't care if her heart bleeds

 

off of her kindness and innocense he feeds

 

she takes care of all his wants and needs

 

she needs to tell him where to go

 

her boyfriend is just a gigilo

 

Reviews

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

Nicely done. Couplet then triplets. An in/out 5 in the middle. Triplets ending in a couplet. Nice structure. The simplicity of the sentences do not take away from the vehemence of the emotion behind them. And it had those elements I personally like. It told a snippet of a story while pulling the reader into the emotion of it. Good show.

Cheers!
Doc.

[Wolfwind Words]

A quick paced piece. Bold and intense, very full of flavor.
A view on a darker subject, not to over worked with enough emotional push in it to drive home the idea that what we see in the poems visions is something wrong in how our society works, or at very least a piece of it.
I kept wondering if it was meant to be put to music...?

Nice!
Aaron Maycroft

[Sheila Kline]

Debileah,
There are sure more than one of this kind out there! And, the poor women who are their victims bear the pain and heartache. It's all so sad when we surrender to such as this, and one takes so much!
This is an interesting write!
Sheila