You Inspired This One.

(please don't drink and drive, help keep each other safe and alive)

 

You came into my life at a time when I needed someone

I remember the quivver of life in my belly

The morning sickness and dry heaves

Once when I was carrying you inside of me

I fell down and skinned my knees

I was so afraid for you

I surely did not want to lose you

You gave me a reason to live

At a time in my life when I had no one

You stirred life in me

Nine months of preparation

Nine months of anticipation

Awaiting your arrival

Finally you came to me in the most natural way

I held you in my arms for the very first time

Kissed you on your cute little pug nose

Counted all of your tiny fingers and toes

You know I loved you from the first moment

That you were conceived

The most beautiful part of me is you

You are my greatest blessing from above

God's miracle in my life

He gave you to me as a gift to take care of

Until you are able to take care of yourself

 

The years they passed by

You grew from boyhood to manhood

Seems like it happened over night

As I look back I can recall

Your laughter, your smiles and even your frowns

The way you use to clown around

Pester your younger sisters when I wasn't looking

Share long walks and talking with me

Sitting and sharing a cup of hot tea

Little things that mean so very much to me

You were such a good boy and a fine young man

I am honored to be your mother

Dearest Bobby

 

Dedicated to my son Robert Stephen Krempa 7/31/73 to 4/15/07

 

 

Unfortunately killed by a drunk driver

At the age of 33

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Dani California]

This is so beautiful and touching Debileah. You've expressed so well the love of a mother, and the sorrow. I am so truly sorry for your loss. Yes, a gift from God... that's what our children are. I pray for your peace in knowing that you haven't lost your son, for he remains in your heart and is with God --you will see him again.

God Bless You.

[Kasey Klein]

Hello Debileah.

Thanks for the invite to read.

I'm not sure what you want from me. On the story: obviously the story is poignant and heartfelt. Parents outliving their children, to me, is proof god's not as happy with us as we think he is.

Your layout is good, not laboring on mundane details, walking up to the Twilight-zonian surprise ending, meaning the ending is a twist. If you didn't mean to shock or surprise the reader, the title would be completely different.

You can stop reading now, if praise is all you wanted.

Your writing is heavy, walking on stiff legs. To me, poetry is about words, as few as possible. This means, to me, every word -- that's EVERY word is chosen with intent and ordered for clarity and impact. You wander all over the place.

Example:

You came into my life at a time when I needed someone
I remember the quivver of life in my belly
The morning sickness and dry heaves
Once when I was carrying you inside of me
I fell down and skinned my knees
I was so afraid for you
I surely did not want to lose you

You came to my life when I needed someone.
The quiver in my belly,
morning sickness, dry heaves.
I fell, skinned my knees.
Fear.
I prayed my knees the only harm,
not wanting to lose you,
before I held you.

That's just off the top of my head. I spend hours, days and weeks on my poetry.

One rule I write by is: Have faith in your readers.

Now Debileah, when you offered me the invitation to read and having read my profile, if you'd not wanted this level of critique, simply delete my comment now.

Have a great holiday.

[just is]

Such a beautiful and touching tribute to your son. I am so very sorry for your loss.

[Angel Baby]

This is a beautiful tribute, brought * tears * to my eyes. So sorry for your loss. My father drinks and drives all the time. I hardly ever see him, but I know this to be true. I worry he is going to kill someone or himself one day. He has yet to be caught. I pray someday he stops. Thanks for sharing your write. P.W.

[Wildfleour]

Another beautiful tribute!

[*Rain*]

This story.......being the mom of a new baby boy, it breaks my heart. I am so sorry you had to lose him so early. My heart goes out to you. I am glad you have been able to find some healing with words. Time will ease your pain, though never erase his precious memory. *A toast, to your son*

[Wicahpi]

Just a perfect poem for a perfect son.
God Bless You! Smile, for he does :)

[emmajoy]

Dear friend.. my love and blessings. ((You))

[Rain]

How do you review something as personal and tragic as this? Es pecially at this time of year, when family is the focus. My thoughts are with you. Please read my "When Snow Turns to Rain." I hurt for you. Rain..