First Kiss

First Kiss

 

In a field of daisies we stood together

Promised each other forever

You were so shy

My kind of guy

I was a bit older

And quite a bit bolder

So I reached out and gave you our first kiss

A moment I've cherished and would never have missed

 

 

Reviews

[Satine]

Awwwww....I'd like to see this piece written in the present-tense as well, I think it could even be better for example;

"Standing together In a field of daisies
We promised each other; forever
You are so shy..."

Just a thought.

Satine

[George Love]

Sweet taste of first found innocent love! This had a very subtle undertone of bttersweetness. Nicely done!