"Broken & Crushed"

I recall the look on your face

the first time you hit me

as I look back now

I remember the look that you gave

waiting to see my reaction

I wonder if I would have told you to leave

if you would have

or would you have hit me again

that was the first time

there were to be many more times

too many to count

for I have lost track

yes I have lost track

too many times I allowed it

too many times it happened too many times

each time worse than the time before

black eyes and bloody lips I wore

broken ribs and crushed feet

you did this to me

in a fit of rage and jealousy

yes I remember the look on your face

the first time you hit me

and the last time I allowed it

then I allowed it no more

and I remember the look on your face

the look of surprise

as I did flee

and I ran

ran with my life

no longer

a battered wife

Reviews

[George Love]

Very harsh, yet very real. This is in your face reality at its best.

[Gary H]

this is a very hard poem. the tension in this stretches every sinew as the reader works through the opening lines. the first line is very clever as who knows whats coming next? clearly this is something in the circumstances that you were unaware of.

a guess there is a nice ending to this, I'm not really sure, as being battered is not an experience that you can run away from with the feelings lasting forever. at least you are away though.

[pal]

"...and I remember the look on your face
the look of surprise
as I did flee
and I ran
ran with my life
no longer
a battered wife"

At least and at last you did it. A great job. bravo.

pal

[Sarah]

Wow - I really enjoyed this. The constant repetition was brilliant, and such a joy to read! Almost like a song - or a lament, about the tale of a wife who escaped from her abusive husband.^^ In particular, I loved the lines: "too many times I allowed it / too many times it happened too many times / each time worse than the time before" Excellent job!!! =) =)

[Brianna Brie]

and I remember the look on your face
the look of surprise
as I did flee
and I ran
ran with my life
no longer
a battered wife

Great ending...left with a feeling of empowerment.

[Chaos]

I know a lot of your work is based on true events. I hope this poem is different, but if it isn't than let me say; you're a survivor and I'm proud of you for walking away from such pain. My mother use to say to me "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" I happen to believe that and you are living proof.

Nice write.

[Justin Tobey]

Excellently written. I agree with Legion, though. Although I think a bowling ball may have been a little bit more efficient than a bat. :)

[Helen Woodward]

YAY!!! I believe that "I allowed it" are the key words here. NEVER put up with this again Deb!!!
Well put together Prose strong in content with a gripping message.
I as a word is a capital Deb...

[Legion]

Well written. Should have never put up with it all. I think a baseball bat would have gotten his attention pretty quickly.