A Silver Spoon

there was a time in my life

i was the picture of health

then i married became a wife

stopped taking care of myself

nurtured a family

forgot about me

let myself go

now i know

i hurt myself so

he hit me

he kicked me

he bruised me

he loved you know

the years they passed by

one day at a time

my hair turned gray

just happened that way

what more can i say

he cheated and he lied

as i stood by his side

after all i was his bride

there was a time in my life

i loved being his wife

but he let me down

caused me to frown

as i threw away my wedding gown

headed into town

toward the neon lights

and the bar fights

it was my plight

as i took flight

on the darkest of nights

on the fullest of moons

he died with a silver spoon in his hand

wearing a gold wedding band

a fallen man

as i ran in the night

with all of my might

 

 

Reviews

[Michael]

Hi D-

You work always holds such honesty it makes it hard to give you anything constructive. I feel like I am cheating you as we are all here not only to share but to improve our works. I have read this one several times now and something just seemed to be the peas under the mattress here. I have taken the liberty to rework a couple of lines that I think were working against the flow of the others, see what you think:

on that darkest of night
then, on the fullest of moon
he died holding a spoon -
needle and silver spoon in hand
wearing a gold wedding band

I think this keeps the same feel of your intent but holds the tempo of the other lines. At any rate, I am really hitting a small point as it needs nothing. Just felt like I had to give something back as you always are good with my works.

[Belinda Rice]

I know how you feel I have been there before and its not a fun thing to go through when you think some one love you and tells you they love you but the abuse always seems to continue, You never in life have to take it It took me ten years to relize I dont have to put up with it and I took my kids and left, cause my kids deserve there mother rather then death..I really love this poem cause you show true feeling and you show it with passion and soul..You bring out the best of you in this poem, you write wonderfully and I cant say that any better..great job....wonderfully penned i will give you a great rate on this one...Belinda

[FRANK]

Indeed, there is nothing worse than giving yourself to someone that you love just to be abused and mistreated in return. Debileah, you are truly an amazing writer. I admit that I return to your work with excitement - even when your subject matter is sad.

[Suelou]

I am so sorry you had to go through that. When things like that happen, after awhile our feelings do seem to change. You are torn between love, hate and fear.

[Lyndsay Castro]

I am always pleasantly surprised by your writing. Even when on a dark subject you write with so much poise. I think you could definitely work up a memoir of sorts. Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us. I appreciate your work, it really is beautiful.

[wizthom]

silver spoon and dreams that hid nighmares,my friend u should compose these writes in book form .
for they are needed and will be welcome by those who are trying to find their way home,,
ur words are like a light house in the mist of a storm..thank u for light..wizthom