The 6 O'Clock News

Took a walk to a nearby carryout

For a pack of cigarettes and a sodapop

A crowd had gathered around the corner

Taped off by the police was a crime scene

Two young men were shot execution style

Come 6 O'clock it was all over the news

 

One night I woke up to a horrible blast

Ran to my window in a flash

Boom Boom Boom

A building across the street blew up

In a dark cloud filled with fire

A garage that was probably a meth lab

The dope man don't play

 

Then the other night

There was a drive-by shooting

In my neighborhood

You know this ain't good

Then the news reported

A policeman tried to stop a fight

He was shot in the face and he died

I got on my knees and I cried

Reviews

[thecoolone52]

i really enjoyed this one......... its a very deep story that had my attention the whole way through.................... amusing read and i may have to take a look at the rest of your stuff

[alyssa]

Again soo good but soo sad. I LOVE IT!!!!

[Michelle Tarnowski]

This was so matter of fact. As if it was the most common place thing in the world with no way out. It reminded me of a book by Jonathan Kozol called Amazing Grace. A true story about the children of Beekman Avenue and St. Ann's Avenue in the South Bronx.

[Raven Held]

I love the chillingly matter-of-fact tone you adopted here. It made the persona seem so detached, yet it also brought out the rawness of the act, and consequently the persona's emotions.

This is the most provocative part, exactly highlighting my point above:
'A policeman tried to stop a fight
He was shot in the face and he died
I got on my knees and I cried'

The narration does not involve much emotions; yet it made it all the more intense.

Great job, Debileah. Thanks for sharing! :)

Loves,
Raven