Ironic to me

Been thinking about my son and how he wanted to be buried. My mom chose cremation for herself and my dad, so I had my son cremated. I have his ashes in a beautiful black urn with gold engravings.

 

He can be sent to a National Cemetary of my choosing since he spent some time in the service, which would truly be an honor to him. But then I think about a phone call I received from him a few years ago. It was nearly three in the morning and he was suffering with a migrane headache. I guess he was scared and was thinking about his death. Anyway, he called and told me that when he dies, that he wanted to be buried on a loft up high, like some American Indians use to do. Well, I don't think they do that nowadays. But I told him okay, you can be buried anyway you please as far as I know.

 

So my idea now is to have his ashes scattered perhaps on or near an Indian Rezervation, perhaps at the sight of Medicine Wheel. I just don't know if it's feasable. Bobby died saving a little boys life in a terrible car accident last year, caused by a drunk driver and he is a hero to many people and he deserves to be honored in death. I humbly believe that if I send his ashes to a National Cemetary it would be the utmost honorable thing I could do, but it would not be his dying wish. Some in our family are upset with me that I haven't done so. Yet is it not up to me, his mother when it comes right down to the reality of what I must do?

 

And it seems ironic to me, since he's been gone, no one seems to care how myself and my daughters and grandchildren are faring. Times are hard and where are these people that supposedly care so much as to what I do?

None of them call, or come to visit, or anything, yet seem to know to tell me how and where to bury my only son.  My gut feeling is the phone call that I received from my son when he had a migrane headache...

 

 

Reviews

[Justin Tobey]

Respect your son's wishes. Although I must agree with Helen; no matter where you bury his remains, your son's spirit will live on, noble and true. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[George Love]

Follow your own heart and the wishes of your son. That's all I can say.

[Samuel Dickens]

In the great scheme of things, it probably doesn't matter much. His spirit is not with his mortal remains. I agree with Constance and Helen. Do what you think is best.

[[untitled]]

Go with your gut Deb and bugger eveybody else, the bottom line is that it was his wish, but you know that he is probably nodding his head and saying "Mum it doesn't matter" Don't you?
I care, and if I lived closer we could share a coffee and a chat.
Love,
Helen xxxxxxx

[Constance]

You tend to leave one, when expressing heartfelt emotions and experiences from your own life, at a bit of a loss for words. To bury a child cannot be easy, and to have someone tell you how you should bury your child is simply disgusting of them. I think that your heart will tell you what he wanted, and I hope you realize that he's still there, and can still speak to your heart- so ask him, to be sure. Then, do what you must. My grandmother still has my mother in a box in her closet. I don't like it, but she was HER child, and I respect whatever she chooses to do, as anyone should.
Hugs, C

[Arec]

I would not call this so much a poem though it is poetic in it's own way.

The very last paragraph pulls sympathy from some readers for the mother who should have never had to bury her son. It makes the reader angry that such neglect has been delt to the mother, which is all it can truly be called: sheer utter neglect. One can feel the hypocrisy oozing from such said family members as you know of such people who do such to their own family members.