Shattered

when your nerves are on the edge

like you're walking on a ledge

you can't help but look down

there's no looking up

the hope is gone

you've just

give

up

 

that's how it feels to be me

less than i should be

when my life's

trouble's

bring me

down

 

like a sad and lonely clown

all i can do is frown

trying so hard

to pick

up

the pieces

of my heart

that are shattered

scattered to the wind

 

manic thoughts on a snowbound night

looking for answers so far out of sight

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

Excellent display of creativity...superb format.

[Carole]

I think we have all been there at one time or another, Debileah. Many will be able to relate to this write. Life is tough sometimes, there is no two ways about it, but I know you have faith, and in times like this, all we can do is hold on and keep believing there is a victory around the corner. They say it is always the darkest right before the dawn! Hang on-don't give up. Better times are coming.

I love the format of this as it really added to the weight of the piece and the rhythm through out. Well constructed and thought out!

[Gary H]

What a cool poem. 'Snowbound night'.....yes, I thought the way this was set out reminded me of snowflakes. Great thoughts and well constructed. The ups and downs on life are mirrored really well by the way you have set the stanzas out.

[Kristina]

Excellent! Very deep. I liked the fact that the starting of the poem was written in the form of down-pointed triangles which gave the illusion of having no hope; as if your thoughts were being directed to the ground.

[Rain]

Great poem because I think many people feel the same feelings. You just hang on till it breaks in your favor. I liked this. Rain..

[thecoolone52]

yeah hopefully everything works out of you.... this poem is super intense... had to take my suit off i was sweating over here.... very tubular write..

[.]

Aw man :( Wish i could just come thru this screen and give ya a huge hug!!! Boy do u need it, man hehe. This was written very well, tho. I like how u express yourself and the situations. Very well done with it. Very strong feelings.

Mikey

[George Love]

Very interesting style and form to this work. Very well done.