punch drunk

Well, here goes another day at the YWCA BWS.

Instead of going to the hospital I came here.

Met a lot of women in similar situations.

My room mate's name is Donna, we're going out for coffee.

We're at a nearby cafe, she just won a lottery ticket.

That will buy us some groceries for the week.

It was good for both of us to get away for a while.

I was so tired and exhausted and not feeling well.

Probably catching a cold from all the kids up in here.

I went to my room and fell asleep right away.

Took a short nap, now I'm back to this reality.

I have a mountain's worth of thoughts on my shoulders tonight.

Should I stay or should I go home?

Should I press charges against him?

If I don't they won't let me stay.

I'm afraid of what he might do.

He could hurt me again, beat me up.

He could kill me if he wanted to.

Me, I just don't know what to do.

I need to call home, the kids are probably worried about me.

I don't want to bring them to a place like this.

On the other hand, what kind of a place has our home become?

I'm beaten, battered and abused.

I am punch drunk like a boxer and comfortably numb.

Seems I've been doing my own damn counseling these days.

Seeing a shrink sure hasn't helped a whole lot.

All they did was put me on pills.

To damn depressed lately I guess.

The anitdepressants caused me to be manic.

Never been diagnosed with bipolar before.

Guess it's going to be another rollar coaster ride.

Ups and downs and highs and lows.

Where she gets off nobody knows.


 

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

Dear debileah,

This is sincere with honesty, but I especially like the nearly detacted feeling. The numbness from the battering continues onto the paper (or website in this case). We enter in with you into your surreal world where detachment is almost the only defense. But then again the world intrudes. What about the kids? Stay or go? Which is worse, continuing with the status quo or escalating the situation and trying to take control? Should you face the known dangers or a new and perhaps more severe one in the hope that by facing this that all will be over?

Powerful writing.

Best regards,

Rick

[Ari]

There is really a lot to this. I love the honesty here.