thinking.

part 1

i'm lying awake again as another hour is lost to the clock

tick tick

minutes pass

thoughts come and go

and my mind is racing

my head is spinning and it won't

STOP

can't think

can't breathe

i'm scared

so afraid

fearful that i'm not as strong as i convinced myself i was

not as sure of this as i led you to believe

penny for my thoughts?

i'll give them to you free of charge

take them and go

just make it

STOP

i can't take another second of these thoughts of doubt

of hurt

of being left alone

i'm all alone

but i'm knee deep in lies you told my eager ears

and promises you couldn't seem to keep

my naive heart is overflowing with the words you spoke

more thoughts

so many thoughts

too many thoughts

i can't take it

it's all your fault

you did this

and you need to make it right

i'd give anything for you to make it right

hold me and keep me safe from the thoughts

you put them there

it's your fault

make it

STOP.

 

 

 

part 2

scratch that, i want nothing to do with you.
don't fix me, how could you possibly undo what you've done?
you can't.
so get out, turn around and walk away, and don't come back.
third time's a charm?
it could have been our happy ending.
love forever, together for always.
i don't need that bullshit.
you can stop pretending you care.
you can stop saying i love you.
i know how much it pains you to lie like that.
i don't need you.
i've never needed you, and it took me until now to realize.
i'm not going to be the girl that's here when it's
convenient for you.
i'm not going to sit around and wait for you to
decide i'm what YOU want.
it's not your decision, it's MINE.
this time i'm ending it.
 

Reviews

[Moki]

YOU CONTINUE YOU COMPLETELY EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL.

[Moki]

Awww baby!

This is so upsetting. :(
Regardless, I completely understand what you mean, and have felt similarly.