footsteps

footsteps

A Poem by Ashley

the space between our footsteps

is growing more distant with
every step we take.
and our fingers can't touch,
and our hearts don't recognize
one another anymore.
if i were to whisper 'i love you'
the emptiness would steal it away.
if you were to whisper 'i love you'
her ears would hear in an instant.
so i won't waste my breath on
broken promises whispered into nothingness,
i'll just waste my thoughts on
broken memories fading into nothingness
as the space between our footsteps
grows more distant with every step we take.

 

© 2008 Ashley


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Reviews

so i won't waste my breath on
broken promises whispered into nothingness,
i'll just waste my thoughts on
broken memories fading into nothingness


awwwww.

Posted 16 Years Ago


I enjoy the repitition as well as the others do.
Good job Ashlaaaaaaaaay
-Bryce

Posted 16 Years Ago


my favorite poem by my favorite ashley!!!!
-Lillian

Posted 16 Years Ago


oh s**t, lady.

this is so good.

"oh, shut up ben!" - julia.

Posted 16 Years Ago


i like the imagery and stuff here, and the recurring themes.

one thing i MIGHT do, change the word "nothingness" in lines 12 and 14. I would keep them the same word, but i wouldn't have the word be nothingness. when reading, i saw the repetition and i thought it was lack of word choice but looking back i realized it was repetition.

haha, i dont know how to explain it, it was just choppy there and i think changing the word would fix that.

but it was good. i did enjoy it :)

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on February 10, 2008

Author

Ashley
Ashley

About
"once time is lit, it will burn whether or not you'rebreathing it in. even after smoke becomes air there is the memory of smoke." -david levithan. more..

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A Poem by Ashley


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A Poem by Ashley


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A Poem by Ashley