I thought of this poem while I was walking through one of my fields slapping mosquitos. It's not very good, and suggestions of how to make it better would be awesome. Thanks so much for your reviews, and taking the time to read it!
My Review
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This feels like the sort of poem that should rhyme, for example:
Slap, Slap,
hand on arm.
Fly, Fly,
They begin to swarm...
Yeah, I'm not too good at poetry either.
there are some elements that I really like about it though, the repetitive patterns at the beginning of each stanza. that's cool. and how the last stanza is the same as the first, implying that the whole cycle starts over again.
Haha. . I think that's the order of actions for everyone when those stupid mosquitos come around. . Ideas how to make it better? I have no idea, but I think it's good the way it is.Great job
you entered this poem into one of my contest and you were in the top four untill one more spectacular poem came but you lasted for 2 days.
You should kepp writing poems like this.
they dont have very many words but are still great.
great details. you descrided enough for the reasder to understand but you didnt do to many details.
overall Great Poem!!!
This feels like the sort of poem that should rhyme, for example:
Slap, Slap,
hand on arm.
Fly, Fly,
They begin to swarm...
Yeah, I'm not too good at poetry either.
there are some elements that I really like about it though, the repetitive patterns at the beginning of each stanza. that's cool. and how the last stanza is the same as the first, implying that the whole cycle starts over again.
So creative to make a whole poem about the topic. I have mosquito bites all over, it is quite annoying, especially since I have to show up to work with big huge red splotches on me now.
Where unicorns roam wild, dragons soar overhead, and pickles sing
About
I'm either a girl or a boy. I live somewhere. I like to read and write, though I'm sure you figured that one out since I'm on writerscafe. As of when I'm writing this, I'm 8672487 minutes old. Never m.. more..