I Almost Became a Snowbank

True Story.

It’s been almost three years since it happened. Whenever I drive over that stretch of road my breathing goes ragged and I clutch to something like my life depends on it. In my mind I see flashes of falling snow, the rocky ravine that just kept coming closer and closer, and the terror etched on my dad’s face.  I can feel the tension in the air that my twelve year old mind could hardly comprehend. It starts to replay in my head, I think that it felt like my life was hanging on a thread that was stretched too tight and was about to break. I remember how I almost died.

It all started on a beautiful but cold December day. It was one of the best days of my life. I got to start the day off by snowmobiling up the mountain with my family. My snowmobile would fly across the snow leaving me with an exhilarating feeling that I can’t even describe. Our journey through the snow stopped at two small cabins high up in the mountains that were nestled between large clusters of pine trees. Before getting settled in the cabins though, my cousins and I would pull out the sleds. We’d race up the steep hill above the cabin, leap onto our sleds, and take a thrilling ride to the bottom. Again and again we would climb the hill and slide right back down until our legs wouldn’t take us back up again. The rest of the day was spent playing competitive card and board games with the rest of the family, until we finally called it a night. The next morning promised to be just as exciting, and most of us didn’t get much sleep in anticipation of the fun we were going to have.

The morning was when it all started to go wrong. We woke up to eight inches of new snow, and it was still heavily snowing. Unfortunately, it didn’t look like it was going to let up anytime soon. We decided that it would be safest to leave as soon as possible. The snowmobile ride down the mountain was terrifying. The new snow was heavy and wet, and it was easy to get our weighty machines stuck. Sometimes we couldn’t make sharp enough turns and ended up places we weren’t supposed to be. It took every bit of skill that we had ever acquired just to make it to our trucks and trailers parked near the bottom of the mountain. 

We loaded our machines as fast as we could onto the back of the trailers and jumped into our trucks. I watched  my relatives vehicles creep slowly onto the road, and start to inch down the path. This far down the mountain we’d only received about four inches of new snow and the trucks drew straight lines through the  frozen water.  After my uncle pulled his truck onto the road, it was finally our turn.  My dad put the truck into four-wheel drive, placed the shifter into first gear, and pushed down on the gas.  The truck lurched forward, but then stopped. The tires were spinning underneath us, pushing snow out behind us, but we weren’t going anywhere. My dad pushed the gas harder but the wheels only spun faster. Finally they started to dig through the new and old crusty snow until they hit solid dirt. With our tires finally having something to grip to, we once again lurched forward, but we moved less than a foot. In fifteen minutes we had made it fewer than ten feet forward, and each lurch pushed us closer to a ditch that once in, it would be impossible to get out. We decided that we would never be able to make it onto the road alone, so my dad and I got one of my uncles to unhook his trailer and pull us onto the road. 

After we were safely dragged onto the path, and my uncle’s trailer was hooked back up, we finally started to creep slowly down the road. Now that we were on the road, we weren’t in any danger of getting stuck. The worst that could happen to us now would be sliding down the rest of the steep trail. At the first big downhill, we slid a bit, but it wasn’t anything more than Dad could handle. As we got to a flat spot, we saw lights coming up the road ahead of us, and I recognized my cousin on his snowmobile. He had been sent to make sure that we were coming since we were probably over thirty minutes behind everyone else. Dad explained why we were so far behind, and then kept going with my cousin following behind us. 

We got to the top of the steepest part of the road, and I said a silent prayer, begging that we would make it down safely. My dad gently touched the gas and we started to gradually go down the hill. Without warning, we were sliding uncontrollably. “Oh, blank!” my dad exclaimed, and my mind surged with terror at my dad‘s curse. The vehicle lurched and I tried to scream, but my mouth wouldn’t work. 

“Josie, get ready to jump out!” my dad yelled. I knew we were sliding, but I had no idea why Dad would want me to jump out. Then I saw it. To the left of us a deep, rocky ravine was getting closer and closer to us as we slid uncontrollably towards the drop off. My dad knew that I would have a better chance surviving if I jumped out, but I was hesitant to take off my seatbelt or open a door. I didn’t want to leave my dad. “Josie, get ready to jump out!” This time it was said fiercer, and with more conviction. Right then, I knew that we were both going to die. My mind froze on that thought as I looked at Dad’s face, searching his dark brown eyes. I had a deep hope that somehow this was all a joke, but Dad’s face had never been more serious. As I prayed for our safety I tried to convince myself that there really was no danger and that there wasn’t a ravine coming rapidly closer. I tried to tell myself that I was not going to die, but I never actually believed it. 

I finally decided to listen to what my dad had said, and got ready to jump out. I had trouble making my hands move as they fumbled for my seatbelt. When they found it, my fingers pushed until I heard a soft click, and my seatbelt slipped off me. I reached for the door handle, waiting for my dad to tell me to jump, but praying that it wouldn’t come to that. I tried to stare at my hands to lessen the fear churning inside me, but my eyes kept darting toward the snowy road, and the terrifying ravine on the side of us. Although my dad had the steering wheel turned away from it, we were heading toward the edge of the road, and our imminent fall into the ravine.  Dad had the breaks on as far as they would go, but even when our wheels were locked, we still kept sliding. 

“Daddy,” I whimpered as I saw that our wheels were only feet from the drop off. “Are we going to make it?” He looked at me with terror in his eyes and said in a whisper that made my ears strain to hear, “I don’t know.” We kept sliding and sliding, and I kept praying and praying as I felt tears start to well up in my eyes. 

Suddenly, we stopped. Somehow, we’d made it down the worst part safely though we were about a foot from the edge of the ravine. I have no idea how we stopped, and I really don’t care. I’m just glad that we did.  I noticed that I was holding my breath, and I leaned into the back of my seat breathing heavily. I never really relaxed until we had it made it to where the rest of the family were waiting for us though. When I climbed out of the truck, I almost collapsed on the ground I was shaking so much. My mom came and steadied me, and I was thankful that she had been in a vehicle in front of us, and that it had only been Dad and I in the truck. Luckily, the rest of the ride home presented no further trials. I think I couldn't have handled any more scares that day. 

Still today I can’t go on that stretch of road without relieving my earlier experiences, and I know that someday, those feelings of terror won’t be quite as strong. Someday, my memory won’t be quite as good, and I’ll laugh about how scared I was. But that day has not yet come, and I have a feeling that it won’t come for a long time in the future. So for now, I grit my teeth, close my eyes, and say a prayer of thanks that I’m still alive today to tell my story.

Author's Note

I have completely revised my story. Its the same exact story, (it has to be since it's a true story) but I changed the way that I told it. I changed my voice, writing style, and about everything else. Please, let me know what you think of the new version! Thanks!

Reviews

This is a good exciting adventure. A little tweaking here and there is all it needs. You start off perfectly. You catch the reader and BAM I am in the moment. I would say change the beginning of the second paragraph/ section. "Okay, so maybe I should start at the beginning." Get rid of that line. In the ending, stop using 'I' so much. It will read better. Great job!

[Omegax45]

I was on the edge of my seat reading this. I was hoping for a good ending, and you delivered. Good job.

[rae52]

cool i really like it

[PyroKitty24]

This was a fun read. I could feel the terror! I just wonder why parts of your story randomly have links in them though...

[.......]

This is wonderful, enjoyed this. kept me reading.