The Demon Inside

A true story of what is going on right now in my life.

Death is like a rose,

Beautiful and dangerous.

Inside me, being scared never shows.

The feeling of dread,

And wanting to rip off your head.

Here it comes,

And there it goes.

The demons in my soul,

Are blacker than coal.

They are meant for me,

So I want you to leave.

Drop me off here so that I may grieve.

My life drains away,

As I hold the torture at bay.

If it's going to be slow,

Please make it painful.

Their pain kills me,

Their sorrow only I can see.

They say 'We'll take it away.'

But forever it shall stay.

Reviews

[forevermore1218]

Loved this one. Its going in my library :)

Personally i love the last stanza and how you ended it with:
They say 'We'll take it away.'
But forever it shall stay.
Loved the essence and how soul jerking that ending was. It, I think made the poem for me. It was a really good write :)
keep up the good work mate!

[Anthony Q Armstrong]

this is what is really happening, I was half-assed possessed when this was written. It was written by a Rouge Demon named Rose...

[forevermore1218]

that was shown clearly but whether it was you or rose, it came within your soul so did give anyone other then yourself for writing it. you deserve it

[Helen Crutchett]

"Their pain kills me,
Their sorrow only I can see.
They say 'We'll take it away.'
But forever it shall stay."


Very good write, scary and chilling. Graphic was pretty scary too! Well done.

Thank you for submitting this to my gothic contest!

Helena

[♪Barklight♪]

Like this one, "their pain kills me, their sorrow only I can see". And (although I hate having to say it but he'll give me hell if I don't) Marcius is fond of it too.

[Hidden Secret]

i LOVE this poem, it speaks a thousand words, love it! one of my favorites that i've read on this website!!!

[Writer *78*]

Yet again another great poem my friend. It is true that when we write we sometimes let the minds eye within our own heads take over. For that is what happens when I write 'Phantom' and Im saying from personal experience that when he finally shows himself and comes out within my writing its sort of a rush that you would have to experience yourself. To let the darker side come out at times through my writing is a release of all the stress of my personal life therefore to be put on paper for all to see. But this is a very impressive poem you have a rare talent for the dark and disturbing let alone the macabre like Poe. Nice Work keep writing.

-Tips hat off to him-

-Writer *78*

[Amanda J. S.]

Really well written! I can really feel your pain in this piece!
100/100

[Toni Blackerby]

ok ur stuff is better than mine lol

[afra]

very powerful write .... i love it ...well done

[Pencrafter]

Your poem expresses much turmoil and confusion. The reader can feel the struggle as you attempt to control the conflict. And because you care for others you recommend that they stay away or distance themselves from the beast. Interesting.

[Pritesh]

I love such pouring out of mind in poetic and delightful manner.you sought every possible pain to put in it emotional aspect.GREAT RYHME AND SIMPLISTIC...KEEP WRITING;-)