Love the last two lines of the first stanza!!Isnt it true that we do love them but still yearn to be free and away from them sometimes?(with the hope that we will meet them in the best place)AWesome how you continued why we yearn to be so in the following lines.Great work.Thank you much for sharing!!
I enjoyed this piece - people don't take the time to dig beneath the mask and find what someone really feels, they're too busy wearing their own -great work!
LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this would make a great song, just saying. you should expand it cause this is a great, and I mean GREAT piece of work. Loved it so much, it's going in my library :)
"i'm a damn good actor too", please tell me that means the rest was a joke, revealed at the last line cos you nearly gave me a heart attack! it's a good write but there are proberly a hundered people at a hospital now.
This poem is haunting. After I read it, I couldn't do anything but sit and think about it for a while. It's so...I guess it's almost a bit disturbing in a weird sense. You have so much emotion in the words yet the poem is almost controlled, cool, calculated. You have put emotions in words said with a stony face, that is a feat indeed. Every line, every word, every phrase was chosen with such precision and care, your writing shows that. The last stanza especially sent chills down my spine. It had such an impact, it changed the entire mood of the poem. That was what was stuck in my mind after I finished reading, all I could think was "woah". I don't even know how to describe it, it leaves me speechless. The saddest part is, I can relate to it.You wrote a poem that many people can relate to, from start to finish. The way you used your words, the shortness and simplicity of it, you did a fantastic job. Congratulations, I love the poem.
:( sounds like some twisted dr. seuss suicide farewell note. Great control of rythm (i have always had difficulty spelling that, I just get it so confused in my brain, and I'm an english major sighs). Again, same thing about the black and red coloring within the poem. Very relatable piece, strong speaker voice.
Your poem expresses the anxiety and depression many people feel. You also show that you have love for people when you control your emotions and appear to be ok, not wanting others to suffer with concern or discomfort. That's a very nice quality. And sometimes we will experience moments of true happiness and have a sense of accomplishment, creating memories we can be proud of.
Honestly, I am not much of a person. I have been writing poetry, it coincides with my life, since I was little. Most of what i write on here is to express my slef, and make myself feel better. Being a.. more..