Light and Darkness

Sweet, sweet is the blood

That runs through your veins.

It runs and runs, until it's a flood.

Then your heart is poured down the drain.

Blood is the drug we live on,

It's also how we die.

Running blood flows on,

But blood always slows and dries.

Darkness is where the dead are,

But the dead aren't always there.

They die and hope to be reborn,

But like blood, they are only stains.

Light receives us from darkness,

But it sometimes overpowers.

Darkness is where the fire dies, 

But in light, it's within your eyes.

Light represents a safeguard.

Blood is ours.

When we die, darkness consumes us from the inside.

But the light heals the wounds.

Blood is the darkness we need,

But light dries the blood and thus kills the darkness.

Light is the struggle we all have, 

But learn to live with it.

Christ has the power of light,

The Antichrist brings thy Darkness.

Christ saves us, while the Antichrist tortures us.

Saving & torturing are one-in-the-same.

Blood gives us strength,

It also mends our cuts, with the help of light.

Light and Darkness help us all,

But send us to our eternal end.

Sweet, sweet is the Darkness that runs through my blood.

I chase away the light with rage and fire.

I torture the lost souls all around me,

Unsuccessfully trying to save all the ones I care about.

Caring is good,

But you must also fear it.

If it takes over, you lose yourself.

So just save some time, and be lead into the Darkness.

Author's Note

I know it's bad, but please, just tell me how bad... and what to do to fix it.

Reviews

[Falling Leaf.]

I quite loved it, but the spelling error in the second stanza was a sore spot, my friend. You misspelled dries. Other than that, I enjoyed the way you merged and pulled apart Light and Darkness, an age old tale. This piece made me shiver and was heavy on the heart. Quite thought provoking. Well done.

Savannah

[Anthony Q Armstrong]

Thank you for pointing that spelling mistake out, I'll fix it now :)

[Falling Leaf.]

You're most certainly welcome, no trouble at all!

[Writer *78*]

Well my dear friend you have quite an extordenary poem to say the least. I think its not bad at all kind sir, but i do think that you should add more to this if you wish. Explain more how light and darkness are one and the same or may be how they are different and why. For example, in the 7th stanza you say that saving and torturing are one-in-the-same well how is that? A hero can go and rescue the princess, but the princess would then have to wait for him and either be a damzel in de-stress or battle her own personal demons of the abyss of darkness. What you have here is good dont get me wrong. I just think that if you added more and explained further how light is a power for good and darkness is an abyss of uncontrolled desire. Then again Im the kind of writer that tries to add detail to my pieces of work. The choice is yours.

-Tips hat off to him-

-Writer *78*

[♪Barklight♪]

That's cool. keep up the awsome writing! :)

[Lee]

Your initial descriptions of blood created this vivid mental image. An image which was like following a restated fact or truth. Something in which we already knew about and were being retold.

Then your words became triggers for side tangents. They were vague, thought provoking words which was left up to the individual to make something of it. This later led to a more thought out analysis you were providing for us and guided us through. It is somewhere in here where I felt you spoke in contradictory circles and lost me for a while.

Finally that last "stanza" seemed to have slapped me in the face with a perspective I never once realized or took notice to before. "Caring is good, But you must also fear it. If it takes over, you lose yourself." A wise word of advice.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading through this. I find that the first half of this is the more stronger part. It's more powerful and striking while the second half becomes a bit rambled and you lose the consistency of flow. The style becomes different as if it's two separate poems entirely. This isn't a bad piece in the slightest however! It's actually quite good and the thought process you lead the reader through is well enjoyed. Good work. Just try to maintain a consistent flow throughout is all.

[Anthony Q Armstrong]

I will make sure I make it flow better next time. Thank you for those words of advice.

[Lee]

No problem; it's a good write. I'm glad if I could have been of help. :)

[Anexi]

It's wonderful and there is nothing wrong with it my friend grate job.

[EileenMarie]

This is great...... very descriptive and flows nicely!!

[♥ Kinnixk]

It's very good. You don't need to change anything. I love it. :)

[Perfect Mistake]

Not bad, quite good actually. Love how you gave so many exapmles of what blood is. Nicely pinned. Great work :3

[Crifa]

Not bad at all. I read this and my eyes widened because it was unexpectedly perfect. Until around the third stanza where you drifted from your rhyme scheme. From then on it was good but not AS good. Amazing piece keep it up.