aids in love

i think this is what it might be like for couples to slowly die together. maybe. like if two receptionists or teacher's helper people fell in love and then died together. or if two people had auto immune deficiency disease and they died together.

we lie wrapped up in the dark together,
we have become a flesh that is tethered.
these hidden hands- such fantastic fingers,
lust right now will be a pain that lingers.
you spread like a sickness thick in my blood,
hammering my genes with that lovely flood.
you forced my mute mouth to accept my eyes,
and say those three little words 'til we die.
i will hold you close while time slips away,
and you can pass on free as i decay.

Author's Note

as always, lack of good grammar is strictly laziness

Reviews

[Laura Nikkinen]

Ooh, rhyming, wording, I like it. Contents, even more so, "these hidden hands, such fantastic fingers"... That stuck with me till the end of the poem and I went back and read it two more times to get a better grasp. I'm heavily into contradicting words and the context they're used in, if that makes any sense at all? Whatevs, cliches and using them in a fresh way shows skill, not everyone can do that.

[Gabriella]

I love this poem, even though the grammar might be off. At least it's consistent. I also like the play on words - aids in love or aides in love. This certainly isn't the first time I've seen the juxtaposition of death and love, but I'm not about to say it's getting old.

[H-Jonesy]

wow. thats a lovely poem, i hope u write more

Hm. Well, I like the imagery.
and death is always fascinating, is it not?

[Succubi]

morbid...depressing...maniacal...sickening...disturbed...profoundly obscene, culturaly backwards
i love it =)

[Tears Forgotten]

But is good in its meaning.. you twistied the words in such a unique way.. trading the meanings of love and death in this write.. was AMAZING... truely.. there is no other way to say it...