Fine Line

 

Sipping slowly

to savor the flavor

only to choke on the taste

of the fruits of my labor.

 

So…

 

I look out the window

that is clearer than hindsight

only to see a blue sky

through scratched lenses.

 

Then…

 

Laying down in bed

so I can find a new dream

only to wake in agony

from the pleasure I see.

 

Now..

 

My mind is on the edge

of philosophical madness

searching for the perfection

within imperfection.

Reviews

[Katchzen]

Those first four lines are going to be stuck in my head for awhile. Quite awhile, I'm sure. It makes me think...We're all trying to get what we want in life, trying to work towards some kind of goal, but what if we're heading in the wrong direction and we don't even know it? Reaching for something that's actually behind us without even knowing? What happens if we get to the end and we think "This isn't what I wanted at all"?

One of the things I love about your writing is that I always end up with something to think about, even if it probably wasn't what you intended.

[emmajoy]

Oh my, deep thoughts, powerful words .. you'll have me thinking at every free moment with this.

Not sure if i'm understand you rightly so can only put my thoughts .. we all seem to be searching for something, that special something. The world's a mess, we want more from it, what better than to look for the best in it; far wiser than in reverse cos it hurts so. Seems dreams are the best places, reality can be so tainted. ' I look out the window ~ that is clearer than hindsight ~ only to see a blue sky ~ through scratched lenses.'

[Tina Kline]

Perfection, that elusive dream some torture themselves to achieve. Striving to always do your best is a better thing to strive for and that, I think, is what your poem is saying. Excellent write.

[My Fair Lady]

Always inspired by your searching for perfection... Wonderful write here. I love the pacing lines as well.

[O!]

This is soooooooooooo me right now! U nailed what i couldnt tell my friends.

Simple and to the point! Not an easy thing to do.

Hope ure doing fine buddy!

x,
O!

[.]

loved the idea...last stanza is where I perpetually stand :)

[JewelsGold]

Yes, life is full of fateful twists, and just when we think it is one thing, well, you know, it is quite another altogether. This poem embodies all of those false sureties and expectations turned around that I think it keeps it all so vibrantly interesting. I loved the subject matter and the quick, insightful imagery you used here. Excellent.

[SpokenWord]

I do believe that imperfection is the perfection of truth without sun glasses on. Why is seeing pleasure agony I asked, but I imagine if you cant obtain it then it is agonizing to always dream of it. I like this poem it is philosophical :)

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

i love the pacing of this.. the drifting through your time line. it speaks of inward quietness, outward slitariness, and i can dig that.

I look out the window
that is clearer than hindsight
only to see a blue sky
through scratched lenses.

struck me as particularly beautiful.. i could see it snapshot clear in my mind..

[red mountain woman]

Wow--I really like this poem-very deep and mentally stimulating-Nice work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime the goal of perfection lead us to the understanding. Perfection is in the eyes of the beholder. I like the feel of this poem. When our dreams lead us on a road to learn and discover. We learn to see the real beauty and learn what we really need. A outstanding poem. You always make me think.
Coyote