Death By Immortality

What can I say, been reading Bram Stoker's Dracula

  

Cunningly the translucent clouds

Surround the mysterious man in the moon

Enough to still see that charming smile

While hiding its wicked intention.

 

A feminine silhouette graces the lunar glow,

Her skin radiates like virgin pearls

Leaving me helpless to her will

As she leans in to taste my fear.

 

My skin creeps like midnight crawlers,

My heart races without a sound,

A rush of pain ignites forbidden desires,

Generations flash through my mind.

 

Suddenly the beauty of night

Drips down my eyes like red wine

Quenching my lips desire for death

Till my veins are cold enough to freeze time.

 

Reviews

[justice]

Yes, yes, the content is great. The images are fantastic. The wording is impeccable. However, I want to comment on how wonderfully crafted this poem is phonetically. The sounds are absolutely great together. You combine just a beautiful array of sound. This poem is great for what it says, but in my mind it is made even better by how it sounds. THank you for sharing it. :)
J

[Tina Kline]

Fantastic vampire write, chilling with dark temptations no one can resist. Love the imagery and tension in this piece, beautiful, deadly and frightening.

[Eile MacIntyre]

This is really, very good. I love the comparisions and the way its written.

[.]

Bram Stokers Dracula is one of my favorite book. You did this justice..Not a vampire poem fan, just become there are so many but my friend this captures that engima, that elegance..your words are like honey...favourite of mine

[Norma M Sutton]

Beautifully creepy.

[Poetic Beauty]

this poem has beauty in it's darkness. the flow is nicely done and the last stanza isn't what I was expecting. This is a hard hitting poem that has a subtly about until the end. The only suggestion I would make is in the line "My skin crawls like midnight crawlers," I would change with word crawls with another adj. since you have crawlers at the end of the sentence. This poem is done quite well and has a bit of a shock value at the end.