Death By Immortality

What can I say, been reading Bram Stoker's Dracula

  

Cunningly the translucent clouds

Surround the mysterious man in the moon

Enough to still see that charming smile

While hiding its wicked intention.

 

A feminine silhouette graces the lunar glow,

Her skin radiates like virgin pearls

Leaving me helpless to her will

As she leans in to taste my fear.

 

My skin creeps like midnight crawlers,

My heart races without a sound,

A rush of pain ignites forbidden desires,

Generations flash through my mind.

 

Suddenly the beauty of night

Drips down my eyes like red wine

Quenching my lips desire for death

Till my veins are cold enough to freeze time.

 

Reviews

[justice]

Yes, yes, the content is great. The images are fantastic. The wording is impeccable. However, I want to comment on how wonderfully crafted this poem is phonetically. The sounds are absolutely great together. You combine just a beautiful array of sound. This poem is great for what it says, but in my mind it is made even better by how it sounds. THank you for sharing it. :)
J

[Frieda P]

It's very beautiful and even more so read aloud, it's got it's own rhythm. Love the last stanza with a passion...

Red wine tears...oh my.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much young lady.

[Ayvid N]

This poem brings out the time-less ties between the woman and the moon very scintilla-tingly... The mystery woman is alluring and irresistible though her charms may prove to be quite fatal. But Cowboy seems feeling to take them head on :))

Sexy poetry Dale.

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

Thank you very much sweets... A very interesting take on my poem. Glad you enjoyed it.

[Ayvid N]

:))) always here!

[Sam]

This is absolutely beautiful. I love it!

[Jenifer]

Reminds me of Calvino's "Cosmicomics." Great imagery and emotion.

"...as she leans in to taste my fear" There are levels of wonder and depth attached to this one line alone: imagery, foreshadowing, prophecy, warning, reality... Love the ending, too.

[Miss Coral]

Have to agree with Justice- this just sound beautiful. Wonderful imagery and concept, but this is audibly gorgeous as well. Wonderfully done.

-Coral-

[Bubo]

I love this, because it is not an obvious cliche vampire poem, but strikes words of a woman a man should be afraid of..........your images are stunning, and the flow very good!

[.]

. ah poetry ... scary and spooky but stunning and flawless nonetheless ... and flamboyant too ... i think dracula would've added this to his favourites ... :) ...

[Ice QueenJen]

Nicely written Dale, and I like the last line "Till my veins are cold enough to freeze time." From the warmth of the red wine to your veins turning cold from death.

[My Fair Lady]

Wow. The imagery and darkness illuminated only by her lunar glow. A dreamy death I say.

[Ellen Hammond]

Hmmmm I have never been a fan of vampire writes, but you turn the darkness into a thing of beauty with terrific lines like:

A feminine silhouette graces the lunar glow,
Her skin radiates like virgin pearls

You could almost make me a fan. LOL Very well penned, my friend.